End Days+ Church issues

  MY DAD AND LEF (Part 4)        



        God brings us to a nook where we hate ourselves and understand that no one but God is our refuge, and Redeemer. I was traveling a journey which I never intended to do, but I was there very much , lived in it, past cannot be changed, or rectified, knowing this very well I write these episodes , hoping that my stupidity of doing things would prevent some lonely sincere soul could realized the truth and withdraw his/her feet from those misty paths of confusion which I trod upon and lost many precious moments with my beloved dad…. read… this episode with open mind, as a person from outside… you will understand more than i wrote.. you will read between the lines.. and colors of the lines….

Jesus specifically told us, “Do what they told you, but do not do what they do”  – -But we often forget about this important instruction and do the opposite.  We do what they are doing but do not do what they told us.—Sad,
They preach the best , they preach from the Word of God, if they do not preach from the word of God, we certainly do not go to them to listen, so the Devil puts the word of God in their mouth, so that we will listen to them  get good impression of them, but we forget what they taught on the pulpit, but interested only in what they do.
Thus the trick of satan works successfully in our lives, and those who preach and those who listen but do what they do also perish.  Got it??

That’s exactly happens in many churches especially in our LEF too.  But some of us took literally what they told us, even off the pulpit, in extreme way, iota to iota, sometimes,  and ruined in those areas;  we are able to discern  in many ways and came out of those traps, means, its only because of God’s grace, and also the inner desire to do the will of God which they told us to do, was a plus point in our spiritual growth.

Whatever  they taught to do the Will of God all the time , from the very beginning of our contact with the LEF< They tell us that God talks to us,  how blessing it would had been if only we do just what they told us, but how many times we just forget about this important instruction but wait for their instruction instead !!!   So who has to blame?  Certainly I blame myself hundred per cent hundred.    In most of the life decisions, like my job, marriage, children, house, prayer place etc, I sought the Will of God and it did not put me shame. But some other mundane things, of life I depend on them , and there found myself put to shame and useless state.

One other thing is, these people preach us to do the Will of God , but they play God many a times, they rub their will upon us saying its good for us, with regard to marriages, resigning jobs, shifting houses, cut off with the relatives, not one nor two, any number of things can be intruded by these wonderful godly looking people, and we will be thrown into endless pitches forever and ever to be burnt.   Some times in many cases, if those persons do not listen to their instructions, they will excommunicate the person not to cook for the congregation in the meetings, or send them to preach in the branches of lef, or they are not allowed to teach sunday school children, nor allowed to give witness to the youth, nor speak to other brothers or sisters in LEF>
Therefore, we have to be live on thorny path all the time, trembling, shivering, every minute of life.. depending on them, at the same time killing our own wishes or plans for life. Be aware !! is caution hung on our necks. Beware of dogs!!! nooo Beware of LEF leaders. and preachers, dear folks!!!

Such were the days wherein we were entangled into their traps, nets, and mouse traps, but strange we were feeling that ours is the best devotion, best life, best worship, best prayer, just like the Pharasees, We are the Holier than any one else in the Christendom!! we we, we are the only one in the whole world!! How blind we were, how stupid we were and how much we were cheated by the Evil one!!

We used to tell every one that ” Our LEF  have depth, no one has that, come and join us, to be saved and reach God, you do not get this depth any where else”   –Those were the beginning days of my separation from LEF, I was too confused by the ways outside LEF, but in heart of hearts I knew that I made the right decision by being separated from LEF   at this juncture one of my old acquaintances came to my home , we both were talking something about our other things, but suddenly she asked me , why ” Akka, why people in LEF feel that their church is the only church which is the best of all?”
I found the only answer I could tell her, so I told her, with as faded smile,’ They say that its only church which have depth”
She exclaimed and laughed aloud, “What?!!! Depth?/ you mean, the depth like in  a pit? An endless depth  so that never could come out of it?? HHAAAhaa ”  we both had a hearty laughter realizing the funny word depth with regard to LEF>

In these circumstance I went to see my dad and mom. My dad all ready got heart attack due to enormous stress caused by LEF on him.  But all of us, me and my sisters and mom were insisting that he should come back to LEF then he will be healed, In other words we were telling him that he got heart attack because he left LEF> This we did not tell him directly but with many other incidents happened to other people who left LEF.  and when those people returned the heart attack was healed.
My dad retired as DSP in the Police Department, There were 5 battalions of Reserve Police constables and 5 Reserve Police officers worning under him.  He was powerful Police Officer, after knowing Christ personally, he repented for all the bribes he took in his career, so not able to find out all those people to return that money, he sold some fertile land in E. G. Dt and gave it to jacobs to buy a place for the church in Vizayanagaram in Phool Bhag.    Next he was accustomed to all sorts of vices but the Lord delivered him all that past life in a miraculous way.
so retirement of a police officer is not like the retirement of other jobs like mine , Lecturer!!  soon after he layed down his office he came to home along with other two constables,  they saluted him in attention( lastly) and went off.  my dad sat in the sofa, I knelt down at his feet and helped him to relieve his office shoes, and helped him to take away his Office khaki uniform and the belt and hat etc.  It means he would never put them again in life !! there was sort of sorrow in the room.  in his eyes, in his face. in every one of us. We were accustomed to see dad going to march fast every morning at 4 am, momused to get up and give cup of hot coffee at 3:30 am every day, all through these years. The constable used to come and help dad to put on his uniform and shoes for the march every morning at 3:35 am every day.   He used to leave the home with a Lathi ( Police stick ) to the office. This is regualar thing happened since 1952 till he retired in 1985.  but because he was not coming to LEF none of us were interested to give a party to him. My husband as usual went to mid week prayer meeting  without giving a least importance to his retirement.  My dad was alone and alone !! He asked us to come to photo studio to have a photo of family on that last day, but my husband did not turn up.  and that last photo was  sans my husband whom my dad considered as his beloved son, and only son.

Dad was so very sad.  I too made him suffer with my looks, my pride, my self-righteousness, my religion, my association with LEF made to look down at him.
Dad loved me more than any one, he was so considerate of me, any thing he brought he used to say’ first Leela, let her choose for herself first”   He used to call me and wanted to talk to me now and then, in those days we did not have phones, so he used to call me on the phone of neighbour, when I got phone I used to shiver , and I used to run to the phone at once, and when I heard his voice, then I would say, with relief” humm, its you nanna garu, thank God!!  why I was shivering so much because I was so afraid, whether I would hear an evil news that my dad met an accident and died, or he got terrible illhealth and joined hospital again etc. Because we were brainwashed that those who leave lef will meet  accidents and die.  Once my brother in law had a fall on road on new scooter, because he was new to ride the scooter. But we were told out right, because he is with your dad all ways he met this accident, because he is helpinng your dad to get his bag this happend. .  My younger sister was a premature baby, she used to be very weak in childhood, I used to spend hours together at her bed in kakindad whenver she fell asick, not knowing what to do, I used to give her my company while she was struggle to breath.   So her first baby boy while in delivary died , soon after this the lef started to blame her and her husband and me for keeping her in the same apartment built  for three of us. as three floors.  So immediatly in fear like Lot from Sodom and Gomarrah left the house then and there for rented house leaving all those rooms empty. My two sisters were in Vizag but they were not allowed to stay with my dad in the same building though there were three floors seperately for each one of us.
Once they ordered me to leave the job then and there. After the deat of my husband they started to oppress me to sell my home only home, telling me” you cannot maintain this big house so better you sell it to us and go away to an apartment” I once casually talked to man who came to my home ,saying after the demise of my husband I found no interest in anything and it became very difficult to stay in the house.  Instead of giving me a support or encouragement that I should be brave enough to do so he went and reported to the person who usurped me from LEF administration and he happilily wanted to get rid of me from the near by premises and started to push eaders to bring pressure on me to sell. When  I rejected he managed to build a Baptistry opposite to my back gate through which we made a way to enter into the center all those years.
Thee are the people who try to devour the houses of the widows seeing their plight and weakness.   They told me that it is not good for me to have gold , and better I give them away to the ministry. they indirectly instructed me better i should go in pale colors to college. They told me that my children should not study computers and threatend me that those who study computers will get strange diseases. Also told me to sell th sccoter which was bought by husband just a few months back , because none of us should use it other wise we will meeet accidents..So I sold it. I oobeyed them literally in all these matters.  They said I should not have a car, never .  so I sold the 5 day new brand car. for 50000 less cost for which I bought.
But one Day God talked to me surprisingly, and to the point, that I have another work and another field to serve Him.. ( will be continued in next episode)

, MAY 29, 2015

DAD and LEF (part 3)

      Fear fear Fear thine is the name of LEF. people shiver and tremble and kneel in front of the leaders, In the name of obedience the will of man is killed and brutally murdered, and chopped into pieces, and leave them as zombies to work and toil in BG. The rules and regulations are for the working class, if you want to understand what I am saying read ANIMAL FARM of Goerge Orwell , do nor miss this book, if you miss to read that, you are at loss.. lol

        I must write about the May Retreats, I started to go to these May Retreats from 1974 on wards, till 2005  . These retreats were for those who have committed their lives to the Lord and they were meant for the growth of spiritual life with a taste of poverty to sustain ourselves in real world when we would expose to such poverty in our lives.  It was to understand the poor amongst us. This was the spirit behind in my longing to go there every year after year.  we had minimum food and lodging facilities and lot of word of God and testimonies, it was rich spiritual atmosphere.. we were thrilled to get know the God’s loving people in one place for ten days, we had plenty of time to sit alone and pray under the green trees.
The food was of a table spoon of Upma and black water coffee with jaggary,  and lunch coarse rice and dal  and severing most of the days we were on fasting and praying, the rooms were thatched sheds to keep our belongings, so with primitive facilities we had for ten days, me and my family were well equipped with enough training to face any sort of life in real world. Every one rich or poor we lived and shared the life just the same there atleast for just 10 days.

                  But later I saw the place was changed from the first taste of life there, there were differentiation among the comers, with regard to boarding and lodging.  no time to pray… all was like a maya bazaar.
so I stopped to go to witness the mimicry of evangelists and many dramas of evil minded.
       Later when BG was purchased the king of the place ordered all people to come serve and labour there without pay.  All evangelists were expected to work there for a few months, in hot sun.  no food no rest,

              Even the diabetics were expected to work from morning to evening, and that caused heart attacks to some of them after they returned, this was exactly what happened in our home to loose the head of the family.

            Then why were we going in there which was started with good intentions but later ruined the very nature of the retreat? 

              It is God who called us to work for Him, it is His love that makes us to work for Him, but we were brainwashed completely that we had to work only in LEF but no where else. The bondage was such that we were tied by the satan to the man made rules of LEF. we were blind, we were in fancy utopia of being used by God only in LEF; We dared not to leave LEF never we dared to entertain such thoughts in our lives. which were considered as grave sin.

                  So if were not in the good looks of the HQ we were not allowed to go to May retreat, Once my dad came to retreat, on my request, I wanted him to see and listen to the word of God,  but one famous evangelist from  found my dad in the retreat, and complained to HQ ladies,  they called me and scolded me left and right and told me to go away from the retreat, I was crying in the heart, I brought my dad with the permission of jacobs, with a desire to spend time in prayer with him where there were no other distractions, actually my dad would never come to any place he was an officer, and we used to obey him all the time, this time he obeyed me and God to set right his life. When this thing happened, strangely I was low in spirit but did not get any anger, on the other hand I thought we were not deserved to be in this ‘holy place’—never a thought aroused in me to retort back, so we shifted to some friends house which was too far and I brought my dad every day to the retreat.
It was heart wrenching experience, humiliated and weeping in the souls.

             They used to give punishment by stopping people to come to retreat, one day I was there when the Lady of the HQ was asking her bosom friend,  “Hey…( her name) what type of punishment we will give to this man?  I looked at the man, he was poor evangelist from one of the places in Andhrapradesh…. and that wicked lady giggled and said, ” what else akka, its simple, we will not allow this man to come to retreat” Both were giggling to their hearts’ content and the man was like a leaf in the storm shivering.   It means if he is not allowed to retreat means, his congregation will come to know of this, and they will look down at him and he will not have chance to proceed with his service to the Lord in his center, if the LEF banner is not there he would not be considered as an evangelist, all his sheep will leave him…  this was the cunning plot of these HQ women. 

               I too was shivered at that moment, seeing me there, the Leader barked at me,
” Why you are here Leela? go and stand in distance..”  Tears were welling up in my eyes, never these two women would allow me to live my life.She was the one asked me to come to esquire certain things, and now asking me and yelling at me!!!

          But strangely enough I did not entertain one negative thought against them but meekly stepped aside.    We knew how these people are manipulating the people in LEF, they are partial and most wicked minded to oppress the whole congregation. They never allowed me to be near them, though I loved them so much just because they were the leaders of HQ.

   Gone those days of useless futile dusty memories.
           Once the HQ lady was barking at Jacobs, in the retreat, it was the last one they attended,  she was yelling at them,” How dare you come to the retreat ,you did not pray for the retreat, nor you announced in the church to pray for the retreat. How can u come to this place,”

             He was professor,  highly educated, but he and his wife were standing there  while she was seated on a high chair while she was yelling at them.   I saw it with my own eyes, and heard it.There is a way how to talk to others, and how to confront others, no one is their slave!!
           But strangely enough we were brainwashed not to entertain any negative thought … like the animals in the Animal Farm George Orwell allegory.
               Some how I was never in their good looks, though I look like I was associating with these people very much.  They never share anything with me, they never call me or talk to me freely. May be because  I was listening to them very obediently , and nod my head for everything they told me, but I used to attach a tag saying, “I too will pray, and will find out the will of God in this regard”

This saved my life from much disaster which was faced by many innocent souls in LEF.

                    But in this case, because of my father my eyes were   blinded  because we both , me and my husband were in the crux of LEF in charge evangelists, and we could not go our own way lest we will be teared into pieces and even in Christ is victor our names will be published saying we were disobedient to them. 
       Fear, Fear,  only fear.. there was no place for love.

          Here in LEF every body call the leader of LEF as PROPHET;    equalizing him to the prophets of Old Testament.  If we oppose him or thought negatively in our minds, we will be ruined, this was an unwritten rule amongst us. Of course the leader never said that he was the prophet, but people attributed this to his personality, and almost worship him.

                I do not know how it emerged, but still it is there and my relatives say so.. with a sheepish grin on their faces. I look at them.. with pain in my eyes and rebuke them.. therefore they never visit me or help me in my problems. Every one has had this fear, so we purposefully closed our eyes, and ears, and mouth, and kept quiet.  He should be the only one mouth speaker in LEF, even his mother was not allowed to give TV speaches or his kith and kin, The Christ is victor magazine gives the name his only and none others,  they ‘select” from other preachers and write anonymously…. why they do so?  if people read the names they too listen to those messages or read those messages and leave LEF??   These people work as HOLY SPIRIT;   what i mean , all the work that has to be done by Holy Spirit will be done by the crew of LEF preachers.  –No body should write own songs, or sing own songs or prepare own cassettes or cds  they should not write any articles or books, If they do so, they will be burnt under the wrath of the head, that is the Prophet.                                                             
            If they do it, they will be excommunicated. or ruthlessly murdered by the words on the pulpit of Stuvartpuram or Revival meetings or in May retreat .
                   Now coming to Tithes of the members of LEF; by the by there is no membership or recognition of any member in this group.  These people look like they do not ask money on the pulpit.  Once upon a time they were really clean .. but as the days go by, they started to boast on the pulpit that they do not ask for money, that they do not have bank accounts, and they do not touch even one rupee note, no purse with them etc etc.. But they give long speeches about the giving of tithes , and that these should be given only in the church they attend that is LEF;  as it is true church.
                  I am docile one , i did not understand this till recently, i knew that they were speaking superlatives of their money dealings, because I am the witness of their greed directly.    but did not understand how it can be possible to live without a bank account.

                          Recently my friend Leena told me the secret behind these words. in her own words,  the story goes like this”  Akka, I have gone to the shopping along with my colleagues,  I purchased some and used my credit card to pay them. But this friend of mine paid by cash, she bought diamonds and lot of gold. I said why you carry money like that, better u have ATM card, for that she laughed and said, ‘Leena I do not have money in the bank or do I have credit cards, ” I was shocked and I asked her, ” What , what are you saying Leena?” She laughed loudly, and said Poor akka , you are innocent, see these people do not keep money in the banks, because most of the money they have is black money, they do not pay tax , if they keep it in the bank they have to pay tax , you see, so they carry money in their inside pockets of their dresses… hahah”
                 Then my dull head started to work out. So these preachers speak that they do not have bank account means they have black money, recently one lady, preacher’s wife on the stage said this,” I do not have bank account” she is working woman and spends lavishly on flowers to decorate her hair and spend money on costly sarees, and says no account… wah.. poor ignorant people and dumb people and stupid people like me believe them. 
             When this leader was telling us that he prepares his own coffee in usa , we opened out mouths and looked at him sympathetically… because we could not imagine the prophet boiling the coffee… and when he told us that he could not lift his suitcases in the airport so he rolls them on the ground, we felt pity, and I thought if only I am a man I would have worked as a servant to this prophet to lift his suitcases… haha  not knowing any one in the airport when the sutuit case is too haveay we have to roll it on the ground..  its not a big deal at all, because the coolies are not available in airports.;  when he told us only his wife had to take him in car, we were all in tears.. not knowing in america all women drive  and they were the ones who do all the work in home do shopping and take care of children  and it is shared by the couple as and when it is needed, his wife used to tell us, ” see the ground on usa is quivering, it may fall apart any time, there is no safety for you or for your family, ‘ do not come to usa,  she was giving the preaching, and I was the most stupid one to translate this stupid message in stuvartpuram.    in 2000.   But still they are there, thought the ground is opening its mouth.

              Dear christain folks do not be cheated by all this sort of nonsense. There are so many tricks to cheat you.   ((continued in next episode.)

  • Excellent. All LEF “members” and “ex-members” should read this
    Andrew Immanuel I didn’t realise murdering from the pulpit was common.to JD. He did that to me and his daughter did that using FB.
    Thanks for explaining why some don’t have bank accounts! BTW, JD always said I didn’t take a penny from LEF. He was careful not to say rupee!
    May 31 at 6:38am · Unlike · 2Well said, Aunty. Your reference to May retreat as Mayabazar is quite apt. In t
    • Of course either jubilee garu or whoever they were made to play the tune of hq. 
      All of us were puppets. 
      Some of us like jubilees escaped this maya in right time. But like them or me all of us were prone to do certain things which we never intended to those. Like these acts of oppression on poor souls like my dad in the beginning of his repentance. 
      I like ur direct and transperancy of speaking all ways rather sneaking back
      Leelavathi Malaka Wait for the next episodes… how my dad and my family were illtreated… without any reason. U will be in tears bec i wrote those lines in tears flowing unceasingly… though my dad my dear died in 1992 still the wound is fresh bec i treated him worse than jubilee garu or HQ…
  • hat Maya bazar, some are rule makers who hardly show their actual colors as the people who are commissioned to implement the rules are often seen as villains in LEF. Your reference to the evangelist from Hyd complaining set me thinking. It is unbelievable how LEF sets stage for two unrelated people to become bitter enemies even though neither one of them has anything against the other. I can imagine poor Jubilee uncle trying to do the “Gurkha” job he was assigned to do and here you are may be after 30-40 years still being hurt about it. While in that Maya bazaar, we never realized who was the hero and who was the villain. I personally sometimes wish that someone gives me a list of all the wrongs I may have done to people while thinking that I was carrying out the “Godly work” commissioned by these LEF Demi Gods. People who at any point in their lives were in LEF can see the “Maya” in LEF only after coming out of it. I guess God needs to show double the grace to LEF people- first grace to save them from sin and the second grace to save them from LEF…
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Hello All! I am a retired Lecturer, Former Air Hostesses, and a writer. I love to share MY STORIES, WITH MY GOD.

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