Children–Past becoming Present


Tomorrow would be the last day for me to play with Jayden. As I had been telling you all the time, that for me “children are the SIGNS of God’s presence for me” whenever I feel depressed or afraid of situation, one little girl/boy come and lighten up my life, many a times before. And I used to write about those incidents all the time. and take that opportunity to thank my God for His wonderful sweet presence. For the past 5 months the presence of Jayden and Jessica in my life made me to feel the presence of God abundantly, and all the time. Because of them I did not feel lonely , depressed, or afraid of anything in my life.
Here are some more beautiful episodes of jayden which record.
Now a days, he became very naughty and playful. yelling loudly is one of those things. He became expert in handling the “touch pad” and knows how to wait for the song he chose to listen. Can you believe it, a toddler handling the touch pad, whereas his mother cannot trust me that I can use it for myself. lol
(i.e. Laughing on the line) when I tell him to go to sleep, I tell him “close your eyes” then he just tilt his head to one side , without closing eyes and smiles at me. That is his gesture to me to pacify me that he is going to sleep. But he never would sleep so easily, I need to play so many lullaby and I myself has to sing for him for long long time. Its not so easy to make him satisfied. He looks like that he is very much fond of the songs in his little life. Now a days he is not putting the little things he found by his little eyes on the ground, instead he is bringing those little little things with his fingers and show them to me and when I say ” chee chee, trash trash.” he too would throw them jerking his arm ghastly. He is expert in giving ” artificial laughs?/” oh he is, his sister says, that they are fake laughs. He is just an expert I say , whenever we both sit in front of the TV, and when I change the channel, I do not know what happens in his little brain, he lifts his head towards me and give a loud fake laughter. as if he understood the TV programme and as if there is something to laugh at, he laughs as the adults laugh for some funny scene in the TV
Some times he asks me to hold his hand while I am climbing or getting down the steps. and now a days he does not slide on the steps but walk like me, if I do not cooperate, he makes much louder cry , and make me to help him to walk. He knows how to use the hands, of mine. He always have an eye on my hands, when he wants to climb into my lap or on to the bed, he does not look at me , but he looks at the hands of mine and push them according to his will and direction and make me to help him what he wants to do.
When he wants to go out, he says ” ba ba” ( i. e., bye bye) many times. till his little head is invisible to me … He is the most mannerly gentleman I ever knew. The other day we went to some friends house. after the dinner he went to the head of the family all by himself and hugged him and smiled, he did so to every one when we asked him to repeat that gesture of thanks giving.
He does not feel shy to thank people or show love to them, which is a great trait of gentleness in this little individual. I see great patience, and wait for us to clean him, or feed him or play with him. “What a beautiful soul, I am afraid I may become “Jayden sick” when I go back home.
Jessica is another little thing, a tiny and puny sweet charming girlie. she loves her brother so much. you have to see the love pouring out of her eyes and face when she talks to her brother. she calls him “hi little buddy brother”. Both play so lovingly and shares any eatable thing with each other. Jessica lways says, that she is “big sister: ” and takes care of her brother so much. helps her dady so much. she is so cute and lively, not even one minute she keeps quiet. play peona, draw the pictures, see the computer nick jr. or see science kid in tv or play with toys sometimes. she is the leader all the time, takes charge of all the children, around her. she likes to teach and direct the things to everyone, including me. She loves to explain things and wants everyone to do things correctly. She corrects others always. unlike her brother , she eats very sparingly, never feel hungry, and tells me sometimes. ” amma mma, do not disturb me I want to think for a while” wow what such a little thing ( four and half years old telling that she should not be disturbed because she wants to think??) She is very particular of correct accent and pronunciation of each English word, and grammar, and right word in right place.
She speaks so sweetly, the other day she was saying something like this..” the other day, umm the other other day, when I was wake.. um when I was awake I found that it was the morning.” Oh this little one knows when to use the word”wake’ or ‘awake” great. I do not know when I will see them again, but these and many unwritten memories filled my heart with great satisfaction of joy and worth. These little ones love me just as I am, even when I am uncombed, disheveled, or ugly to look at, their love is nonjudgmental, their kisses are unconditional, their longing for my hand is undaunted, their desire for my presence is unblemished. I enjoyed the true love in its real sense. I often forgot that they are my grand children and I used to call them as John instead of Jayden and Happy instead of Jessica . My sweet youthful days of motherhood came again to revive me and make me joyful and enthusiastic, and made me sing all those old songs I sang for my children when they were tiny things like these are. Especially the song ” Deva paapini” when I sing for them, it gives me the same freshness of joy when I was singing it loudly in my kitchen along with Happy the three year old one at that time.
I enjoyed telling all those sweet stories and songs to Jayden and Jessica; I told my children long long back.
When children grown up they look at you in different way, they forget the sweet love of mother once they enjoyed in her lap, the way she fed them played with them, helped them to grow into beautiful souls as of now. but the grandchildren will make you to realize that the mother instinct in you would never go away, however be the situations turned down.
Its way of life. and Its an accepted phase of life.
Life has a chance to turn around with the little grand children. Happy gave me a birthday gift which says,” grand children gill the gap of circle of love” How true it is, all my life I loved my parents, my sisters, then my husband, children … and at the end comes the grand children into my love circle of family members. Love reigns over my life, I did good things to them all thru my life never I never thought of giving less things to them, I wanted to give the best to them, my belongings , my time and my energy, I gave them the best, not the second best ever. God is my reward, and I see now I am even able to love the same way I loved before. And my grand children are the last resorts of my love life. Strangely this month I am leaving and the calendar word is Mark 10:14. “Let the little children come to me , the kingdom of God is theirs” Jesus said so. you know there were two little children brother and sister running .. and the other day I found a beautiful pic on the wall of Lighthouse Community Center of Finny Mathew and Martha Brown. We used to have a picture on our wall in our home just like this one wherein Jesus was behind them with his both hands protecting them behind them without their knowledge.

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Hello All! I am a retired Lecturer, Former Air Hostesses, and a writer. I love to share MY STORIES, WITH MY GOD.

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