Here ‘ I’ means’ we’, or ‘people’ in general .—. Robert Frost
“How I longed for the months gone by; for the days when God watched over me !!!
When His lamp shone upon my head and by his light I walked through darkness ,
Oh for the days when I was in my prime when God’s intimate friendship blessed my house, when the Almighty was still with me and my children around me !!!
, when my path was drenched with cream and the rock poured out for me streams of olive oil !!!”
Gone Gone were those days, I was thinking that my HOUSE is blessed and my KITCHEN is blessed, I was too busy with household work, cooking, cleaning, stitching and tailoring ,washing, and ironing, laughing and dancing, playing and shopping.
Now the days have been going on and on, Its just going on, God still taking care of me, but my empty HOME mocking at me, the rooms once were congested, are now none to step into them as there is no activity to take. Mostly my bed room is the only one I live, read, sleep , watch TV, write and engage with close friends who are harmless !! My children have no time to husk with me, or laugh with me, or visit me often, they are in far away lands pursuing their own adventures, and commitments, No time to take me out because of my vulnerable body, in fact they feel that I am another luggage to carry. Does not matter, I accept everything, as I accepted everything in my life, good or bad.
Lonely widow’s life is different from a couple who are old and have children. Anything can be accepted by her, there is all ways, that fear lurking in the heart, “‘oh I should not be a stumbling block to my children’s bright future, I should not lag them behind by seeking their attention, , I should suffer and I should entertain myself and self sufficient”.
TWO gives warmth , not only that its gives strength, no one can ignore them, no one can despise them no one can be indifferent to them. Because they are two , one in body and one in my mind, and one in life. They share the grief, the agony the humiliation. The public looks down on lonely person but not at the one in the couple.
But one is left , leaving the other ,especially the wife, she has no place in the lives of the children, she is just an ornament to show to be shown to others ; that once upon very loving mother, but now she is useless product to be used in the modern society.
Live as you like , be happy with what you have, enjoy your life, we will be happy as long as you are there, does not matter, even if you leave us, we will come after three days to see you, hoping some one put you in ice box till we come, your place in our lives has nothing to do, you are already not there, so even when you leave , there wont be a void, after all death is inevitable, and you have gone because God called you. Of course we are quiet sure that you will go to Heaven, there we will meet you. Then we will be laughing and enjoying once again. Till then you be yourself, and we will pursue our devotions, our pleasures , why commitments with you again,? Hope you will find a good old age home by now, better you stay over there, because any way you never like to be a hurdle in our lives. any way you will be only obstacle for our progress.
Life is so strange, every one forgets the past very easily FORGETTING is a boon given by God,
” Now their sons mock me in song I have become a by word among them. They detest me and keep their distance they do not hesitate to spit in my face Now that God has unstrung my bow and afflicted m;e they throw off restraint in my presence “