I learned to bask in the reality of God’s amazing love . Its beautiful to see my own heart open to god’s love I had His presence very near to me, I love to laugh, love to giggle, love to show the world that I am really very happy in my life, my face literally spills smiles effortlessly from my lips.
His word comforted me with the promise of healing and joy and singing “O sing, o daughter of zion, shout aloud, O Israel! Be glad and rejoice with all your heart, O daughter of Jerusalem, Zeph 3:14 was the guidelines of the day and night . Because God promised me that he removed His hand of judgment and dispense the armies of my enemy. He taught me to rejoice in Him. I am loved by God and His banner over me is LOVE. but I soon found out that there are two type of mirth and joy in life. When I tried to be giggle with my friends, classmates along with the lines of mirth they spill over again and again, by poking or joking or teasing one another, when I tried to be as happy as they were, something happens to me at home, I could not sit happily in His presence as I used to be. I lost something , His presence, His joy.
I did not understand this at all, so I asked God, “Lord , you only told me to be happy, rejoice always, but I find that I am not really happy now, something happened , when I was laughing with my mates, and friends as usual, What is the problem with me?” I prayed and slept, in the middle of the night I got a sweet dream in which I saw the words like this” Psalm 2:11 ; early in the morning I read it in the Bible, “Serve the Lord with fear and CELEBRATE his rule with trembling”. This utterly utterly straight answer from the Lord, –It means I can be the happiest person in celebrations and jubilation, but I should never loose that fear and trembling, it means the reverence for God, should never make to leave His presence even when I celebrate and enjoy life.
In the same week God showed me another verse from Ecc 7:is Like the cracking of thorns under the pot, so is the laughter of fools”Like the crackling of thorns under the pot, so is the laughter of fools.” In more or less in the same year I prayed about my weakness of the body, I was too lean and wiry, not very healthy, a sort of bronchitis attacking me now and then, and I found myself not fit for Field work trips I had to do for three days in a week. One day I in tears asked God why I am so weak, and asked for His help . He showed me a verse exactly suits my plea,”Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength”( Neh 8:10b) Then I got the secret to get strength, I started to sing songs of worship and thanksgiving aloud, enjoy in the friendship of God’s children, Praise God in His house of prayer. This completely changed my attitude and body. I started to gain health bit bit and healed completely.
Story of Evil Eye
One godly couple were a great help to me. Especially their daughter, Hema became my sweetest girl friend ,(7 years old) to give company to me, she used to stay with me soon after her school hours . Later she chose the college studies where I work in Eluru, and did her B.Sc degree though there were great colleges in Vijayawada, and later finished her PG in AU and came back as a lecturer in our college and again chose to stay with me in my home to help me with the little children. such was her love and Godly commitment to our family. Our bond had no knew bounds or words to explain. It was like every piece of puzzle falling into perfect pattern of life. Nothing was coveted, nothing was striven for, but everything was placed there in proper and perfect peaceful lines of life story.
One day one prayerful person told me that she was afraid for me as I was going to their house, now and then, with my little children through a short cut path. She told me that every body was saying, that there was an evil spirit on that way, and asked me to come to their home avoiding that rout, and choose the other way. I was surprised, and did not believe that. Soon after I went home, again in the same short cut rout, I knelt down and prayed…” Lord what is this, how can people are afraid of such things? I am not afraid . never in life , your name is the greatest name ” Thus I praised and then led by the spirit to open the Bible, do you know what was there in those pages of the BOOK? — It opened exactly at Isaiah 8:11 to 14 –” This is what the Lord says to me, with His strong hand upon me, warning me not to follow the way of this people. “Do not call conspiracy, everything these people call conspiracy( Evil eye). Do not fear what they fear and do not dread it. The Almighty is the One you are to regard as Holy, he is the one you are to fear, he is the one you are to dread’———That settled everything, When We cling to His word, He is there to help us in all times. The problem with most of us is, we do not ask God or read His word to find what His word is telling us. Instead people spend time in inquiring every one and take the opinion of others, in decisions of life. Even in such trivial situations too, where the Holy Scriptures give clear guidance to us.
Once I was feeding my little boy, mother’s milk was too much, and I found great curds of milk stocked in my breasts and it gave me much pain and fever. However I tried to get rid of the pain and fever I was not healed due to too much of mother’s milk. One godly elderly woman and her sister came to see me, as a friendly visit; she took me aside and told me like this “amma, my sister was born in a different way, all babies born first by coming through their head and later their legs and feet. But she was born as her legs and feet came first through the womb of her mother and later her head. ( They call such babies in Telugu as YEDHURU KAALLA BABY and in English ‘Breach baby’ and many feel, that sort of baby is a great Omen) so if she touch your breast with her feet, you will be relieved by those curds of milk and fever too”
I was bewildered by her advice, in fact the pain and fever was too much to bear. I said, “Let me pray about this”, and I went into my room and knelt down prayed and then I remembered, this verse”Romans 14:23 “For all that is not of faith is sin” I kept my hand on my heart, and I asked myself,— ‘Is it of faith? — NO , its not’. So I rejected her idea, but waited upon the Lord for His mercy to bear this and to be healed of it. God was my refuge. And I was healed. However, when the ‘life’ suddenly questions us, good advice of godly people, friends, and relatives impose on us, and tests us, then if we cling to His word , we will stand as a rock..!His word is a Rock and on it, we stand still as a Rock.
My daughter completed her three years in this place, I used to gather many children in my home, to give the word of God. Hema was the main helper to me. Yesumani, her sisters were also great help to me. Later Yesumani played a wonderful role in fulfilling God’s promise in my life. God blessed her and parents big family in wonderful way The evangelists loved this poor family who were literally stinking in poverty. We used to visit their houses, and encourage them to come to the Lord, now each of them are in great life, serving God and having good families.
Those were the good old days, where the gospel was given to the poor. Gal 2:4; Matt 11:5