9\/6\/1979 SATURDAY --3pm\r\n. ...I the Lord will hasten it in His time. " Isa 60:22\r\n"Though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry... the just will live by faith "\r\nHeb 2:3,4\r\n2pm Oh.. Lord let everything be done according to Thine will. I am in Your hands. Its upto you to bless me or curse me. Lord only thing I beseech you is, help me to be faithful to you till the end of my life, I am ready to face the consequences of my life , if you want to face anything, I am ready to face.. Thy will be done. I just wait and see Thine presence in Jesus Name... amen\r\nI got up early in the morning, had my morning devotions, waited upon the Lord, asking Him why this prolonged time? why we did not receive any letter from HQ? How much time should we be waiting?\r\nI waited for His answer, but in vain.\r\n"Even so, Father, for so it seemed good in thine sight" Luke 10:21\r\nI was reading my favorite authoress book , she was my mentor, my guide, my counselor, that summer I bought her another book, "Green leaf in drought time"--Her name is Isobel Khun.. If her books were not with me, I would had perished long ago. Her books gave me all spiritual food I needed. I prayed , Lord make me like that Green Leaf in drought time...\r\nThe promise in Jer 17:7,8 once again uphold me.\r\n"Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is, but her leaf shall be green, and shall not be careful in the year of drought."\r\nHopefully waiting and praying and reading in the presence of God, yet two more hours I spent alone in His presence... its 4pm waited for the postman, he came and went but no letter that we waited for.\r\nso I prayed again, Lord this is like the waiting of the church for the Lamb of God, not knowing which minute it has to receive Him . Lord please strengthen my faith more and more. I just trust in Thee that you will do the best for me in The right time. i am waiting in Thee Lord to see the wonderful way of Thine answering in this regard. I love you Jesus my Lord --amen\r\n"Trust in the Lord, with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Pro 3:5\r\n"seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you"-Matt 6:33\r\n4pm: "My heart is unburdened and I lean upon Thee Lord.. My soul is free\r\nAs I was leaning on Him and learning to trust Him , I got some other promise:\r\n"I know that thou can do everything and that no thought can be withholden from thee...I understand not; things too wonderful for me which I knew not..\r\n.Job 42:2,3\r\n11pm Lord my soul is like a weaned child. I am steady truly my soul wit upon God He is my rock, my salvation he is my defence, I shall not be greatly moved Ps 62:1,2\r\nOh God my heart is fixed: I will sing and give praise\r\nPs 108:1\r\n==============================================\r\n11\/6\/1979 4:30 pm MONDAY\r\nNo letter in the morning post , afternoon or in the evening...post....my faith fails...\r\nLord I see how meger is my faith.. How little faith in my h I have.. Often I have been tossed and warm tears are gushing out and at heart I am so shivering.\r\nLord renew my faith in Thee Lord. I am not able to trust in Thee I am not able to believe, which is greatest sin, Lord forgive me. Though my heart faileth... Lord help me to love Thee and be steady. Lord I cry unto Thee.. lift my head.. and help my unfaithful heart Lord renew my faith in Thee.. Lord help me to believe you.\r\n11:15 night-- my heart was rejoicing .. with some unknown reasons, in gratitude.. so my prayer goes like this:\r\nLord my heart is filled with gratitude for all the wonderful things you have planed for us Lord.. we are just unworthy to receive these bountiful blessings. I am rejoicing in Thine Salvation my Lord. I feel like I 've just born again... Father .. i thank you for all these blessings.. 1) the good health 2 comfortable home & food 3) education 4) Loving parents number at all , all these wonderful things you have done in our lives. 5) the best job 6)Thine Salvation & fellowship ...Oh Lord can I let us not forget any good thing you have done to us--Lord fill our hearts with praise and worship & gratitude---in Jesus Name. Amen\r\nWATCH & PRAY\r\n============================================\r\n12\/6\/1979 6pm-- Tuesday.\r\nNo letter even today..\r\nRemember the Word unto Thine servant, upon which Thou hast caused me to hope. This is my comfort in my affliction for thy Word quickened me... I remembered thine judgments of old, o Lord, and have comforted myself.... Ps 119:49\r\n8pm --Fasting Day\r\nLord I am at Thine feet... Lord help me you will not despise them that came to Thee.. you knew my affliction . My heart is melting .. Lord be merciful and help me .. I am alone.. ... I am not worthy to come to Thee but .. I beg you Lord hide me and help me in thine own way. Lord give me strength to bear this...Lord I cry unto Thee. Consider my tears and give me thine hand, I sat in darkness.. give me a ray of hope. I have nothing to be encouraged. all around me a thick cloud of darkness encompass me .. and the Satan is roaring like lion to swallow me, Lord.. my hope, my heart, my faith, my parents, my near and dear fail me. I am left alone.. Lord.. I am alone.. Hear my cry O Lord... hide not they face from me.. I am in trouble.. Lord answer me speedily.. my heart is smitten and withered like grass.. because of my groaning my bones cling unto my skin .. i am like a pelican of the wilderness and owl of the desert ..as a sparrow on the house top I am alone.. and I mingled my drink with my tears... Ps 102\r\n"for the time to favour her. yea, the set time, is come... he will regard the prayer of the destitute, and not despise Thine prayer.. from heaven did the Lord behold the earth.. to hear the groaning of the prisoner, to loose those that are appointed to death..\r\nPs 102:13,19,20\r\n12pm Night\r\nThou openest Thine hand, and Satisfiest the desire of every living thing. Ps 145:16\r\nThese wait all upon Thee, that that mayest give them thine meant in due reason.. That thou givest them they gather, Thou openest Thine hand, they are filled with good. Ps 104:27.28\r\n==============================================\r\n13\/6\/1979 ---6am--Wednesday\r\nOh what beautiful version Lord..' In the trail of obedience training let me be 'still' and 'wait' and look at thy hand.. Lord.. I will wait for those'crumbs of bread' from Thine table ( Mtt 15:27 ) Lord strength, my faith renew my hope and take hold of me completely mold me. Lord mold me and fill me abundantly in Jesus Name. --Amen\r\n4pm\r\nLord still there is perfect silence from thine side.. we are left completely in suspense but yet. Lord I trust in Thee that you will not bring shame to them that come to Thee Lord strength my faith.\r\n==============================================\r\n14\/6\/1979 5 Fridaypm Thursday\r\n......The thing is established by God, and God will shortly bring it to pass.. Gen 41:32\r\n==============================================\r\n15\/6\/1979 5:30 am Friday\r\nHe found him in a desert land, and in the waste howling wilderness, he led him about, he instructed him, he kept him as the apple of his eye.\r\nAs an eagle stineth up her nest fluttereth over her young, spreadest around her wings.. taketh them, beneath them on her wings.. so the Lord alone did lead him... Deu 32:10--12\r\n==============================================\r\nThus the writings in my little red journal were going on. ..on ..on...! No end for those writings.... what happened to the promised letter for Br. Joe.. why there is no contact with us, They can as well contact by one letter, yes or no? No the Lord has given me so many promises.. about this marriage, but untill and unless that first promise, "The Lord confirmeth the word of His servant... "is found out my heart find no peace... Lord is giving many promises .. but why not that particular one? I was searching for it every way I think it would be. I will wait .....!!