Yes, those were the good old days, we did not have updated concordances with us, we did not have google to search for that particular verse.. I heard “The Lord confirmeth of His servant.” So frantically I enquired two senior counselors but they could not help me. But I recorded my prayer and the promise in this little red journal book which is in front me now to extract those prayers and answers for the benifit of our freinds here and for my own renewal of faith.

Before closing the retreat, my father also was called by Br. Joe and was informed about this match. It seems Mr. Yesuratnam and my father were introduced to one another, but I did not see him. Nor I was interested to see him. Br. Joe told my dad, that the marriage would take place in the next month, that is month of June,’79. He told my dad very clearly, that he would write a letter to him shortly giving the details of the wedding. He asked him to wait for the letter.
Recently I talked to a girl who told me that her marriage date was on 6th June… with this information, I understood that certain times the weddings took place even in prayer month.
I think my fiance’ saw me while I was walking with dad in the retreat.
so after God talked to me thus, I recorded my prayer in this little red journal book

Lord I do not know who he is ..what he is.. I heard that he is a godly man..and I believe the words of your servant..for you confirmeth them. I am not seeking for presitge, degrees, beauty or status or good background-Lord only one thing I beg you, Lord “let me not be ashamed and let not my enemies triumph over me”– I determined to be faithful to him and not to be a stumbling block to him. I determined to love him by all means, in every moment for your sake, Lord be with me.—Lord only thing I ask you in him is, ” I want that he could be a leader, a strong support in all family affairs, and be a true servant of thine, who loves you and you alone…more… than me, Lord !
Lord you know this has been the desire of my heart since I have known you… you have been faithful to me always.. Lord, my God I trust you, that you will give more than I wanted–“Your Best for me”–those things that I cannot estimate now Lord confirm my trust in You–in Jesus name Amen & Amen

“The Lord confirmeth the words of His servant” –I could not find these words in my Bible. But my heart rested there. ..Meanwhile I got some other promise
“Believe in the Lord your God, so shall ye be established, believe his prophets so shall ye prosper.”–2 chronicles 20:20

30/5/1979 9pm
Lord some how great fear takes hold of me. I do wonder of my future –will this marriage takes place? Is he going to turn over me? am I going to be ashamed?
—Lord all these are negative thought… thoughts without faith, Lord please help me.. I am shivering like a dove in the wilderness… I need your shelter Lord.. Give me peace.. let me hear good tidings of good news… soon. let this be over soon… Lord shield me and hide me father.,…

….thou shall know that I am the Lord; for they shall not be ashamed that wait for me”

4/6/1979 8pm Monday
Lord I want a promise from you to start my new life with ‘him’ . not that I do not believe the promises that you have already given to me… In fact every promise in Thine Holy Book seems to be only for me. but I ask you for a special promise. This is for the steadiness of my heart. So that I would not be easily dwindeled by the evil one, later—Lord make me to stand on firm ground… help me to build my house on the Rock of Promise… I thank you for you are not ‘yea’ and ‘nay’, but in Him was ‘yea’. for all the promises of God in him are ‘yea’, and in him Amen, unto the glory of God by us
2Cor 1:19,20

I thank you Lord for our hope is steadfast, and you are God fo all comfort. who comforteth us in all our tribulation 2 Cor 1:7,3,4

6/6/1979 wed
…”this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you”

Faithful is he that (1 Thes 5:18,24) calleth you, who also will do it.” .
God shall supply your needs according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus Phil 4:19

Thus saith, the Lord, even the CAPTIVES of the mighty shall be taken away, and the Prey of the terrible shall be delivered; for I will contend with him that contendeth with thee, and I will save thy children, and I will feed them that oppress thee with their own flesh.. and all flesh know that I the Lord am thy Saviour and thy Redeemer , the mighty one of Jacob… and thou shall know that I am the Lord, for they shall not be ashamed that wait for me. (Isa 49:25, 26,23)

I had all these promises while I fast and pray in this month of prayer.about my marriage, but my heart was seeking for that first promise, “the Lord confirmeth the word of His servant “…But no I could not find it….

But as a family, all of us were waiting for the promised letter from Br Joe about this wedding and his instructions to get ready.

Thank God those were not the days like these days, we did not have mobiles, phones, or emails, to call others and enquire the things, we cannot go around and ask every one to know the reason for not receiving any letter from him. You remember in one of the last blogs, while I was writing about Evil spirits how they try to overcome us , even by bringing bad name to us by trapping us in some unwanted situations and make us humiliated and insulted. That fear was there in my mind too… what is happening any where? what will happen ? why this silence? why there is no letter from brother still, he said clearly that the wedding would take place in this month, but no letter from him means… what? am i going to put to shame? all ready many people come to know that my marriage would be in this month, in the retreat it self, some of the old friends all ready asked me about it… now where shall I put my face if it does not take place.. because of the tricks of the evil one….!?
we were waiting for the postman 10 0’clock post
2 0′ clock post and 4 0’clock post… every day…but in vain.. no letter, without the letter we could not prepare any thing, wedding cards, dresses etc etc. This would be the first christian wedding in our families… and I never saw any christian wedding before too. So the anxiety knew no bounds…. all of us were waiting and waiting… nobody is talking to any body, all of us are waiting for the postman three times a day. Soon after dad came from the Office he enquires, ‘ any letter from brother?’ ‘no’ was the answer ringing in the air. The couple who were leading the center, Mr. and Mrs Jacob also were waiting and praying for me. They too were asking us every week Wednesday and Saturday and Sunday answer is …no no no…

8/6/1979 Friday
Lord you want to teach me something?
Why this silence? —Lord help me to learn everything you want me to learn… Lord only thing I beg you let me not betray you any more….even at the level of my thoughts, Help me to be faithful to you till my last breath, Often I remember my follies , my unfaithfulness and I am discouraged… Lord is this from you?? Lord is this from you???? Is this silence from You? If this obstacle is from satan I bind all the powers of darkness in Thy precious name Jesus Christ. Restore my faith in Thee Lord. Is this Silence from You Lord?? Is this silence from you Lord????

“–It is I, be not afraid”(John 6:20)

—God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able, but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to hear it (1Cor 10:13)

—–nevertheless I am not ashamed for I know whom I have believed, and am presuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto Him against that day (2Tim 1:12)

continuation:—–God was preparing well .. for this marriage, He tested my faith, my patience, my longing for Him my desire to build His kingdom through this marriage, He wanted to prepare me for that purpose.
Remember Marriage should not be for selfish purpose, it should be for the glory of God, if it is not, it wont last for many days… we have to repent if we had involved in marriage without much preparation of prayer, then God will do a miracle in our lives. The goal and motive behind married life should be for His glory and for His kingdom… When God teaches let us be learners,…. and wait upon Him….wait for the next episode….

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Hello All! I am a retired Lecturer, Former Air Hostesses, and a writer. I love to share MY STORIES, WITH MY GOD.

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