THURSDAY, DECEMBER 18, 2008
Why my heart is telling me always that this life is not real, and that I am living only for the moment, why I am not able to enjoy the company of people as I used to in the past years.. why I am not happy even in my loneliness as in my teenage years,
I just want to spend day time some how and sleep out the nights, and just just carry on the days in and days out, … is this the way how God is preparing me for my departure from this world? no ties, no attachments, no desires of any sort, just living for the moment, only some times the tears which gush out without any reason makes me realize that I am still a human being with feelings and hopes… otherwise
I feel that everything is over with me and that I am just waiting for the sun set of life, I have some small goals in life those are the hopes of spending and enjoying life with my little grand daughter, I wonder and imagine how things would be with her while walking on the meadows once again and how it would be while we both exchange some words of stories in her language.. and how it would be if we both go out and spend some time seeing the nature and people, those silent conversations between us would give me immense joy .. that is the only thing I am waiting for now a days… but u know she is too far, too far I have to travel long long way to reach her, and be with her, and I need to have some leave to spend with her… oh… I have to arrange things in this place once again during my absence …well I wish there would be some one with whom I can discuss these things and do them .. and travel along with while talking about my little grandly and reach her…!