I was a happy go lucky girl, cracking jokes and making many friends, happily giggling all the time. I used to be happy and make people happy around me.
But I was addicted to a bad habit in my BA,which continued to my MA. I was fond of the smell of petrol. My dad used petrol in the boot polish and to shine buckles to his uniform. Constable comes every day and polish his boots and malish his buckles. I like that smell very much. But I ultimately became an addict to this smell. My craving for the smell became an addiction. While laying in my bed,with a book in my hand , a small lump of cotton dipped in the petrol was on my nostrils. As a result my lungs spoiled. Doctors told me I am suffering from acute bronchitis. My dad used to take to many doctors, and costly injections were given. Breathlessness , fatigue, weakness caught hold of me.
Now I became His child. I forgot about my addiction as I stopped after I became His child.Though outwardly I was looking good, I was very weak in body.
ONe day I was praying. I felt giddy, and very very tired. Then I prayed to the Lord, “ Lord, I am your child, why am I so weak? Give me strength” -My prayer was straight and simple as if I am talking to my friend face to face.
That day God spoke to me through Nehemiah 8: 10 “Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength” God started to tel me Be happy joyful in the Lord“Then I Started to be joyful in His presence, singing the songs with all my heart, worshipping Him with all my might, concentrating on the meShebcssage keenly, enjoying the friendship of the church comers sincerely. I used to sing my favourite songs and spend much time with Santhakka,my spiritual mentor, enjoying being with her, praying with her, reading the biographies of missionaries. This joy automatically gave strength to me. I became a healthy young girl.
But in university When Itried to be as happy as I am, laughing at the jokes of my classmates I found some glow, departing my being. I could not be as happy and joyful as I was in His presence. I asked the Lord “Lord you only told me to be joyful to be strengthful, but when I Tried to be joyful with my classmates, I found that something was happening to me, I am losing that glow in my spirit, what shall I do?”
Answer from Him straight and immediate. He spoke to me through Ecclesiastes 7:6
“It is better to heed a wise man’s rebuke than to listen to the song of fools.For like the crackling of thorns under the pot, so is the laughter of the fool. This too is futile”
I understood what joy is the joy, real joy in the Lord. Since then I made it a habit of mine, going to God’s gathering in time in expectation of being joyful in His presence. I literally started to enjoy the worship songs, reading scripture, not missing a second.
Later I learned the song” The Joy of the Lord is my strength” “ I love the thrill I get to get together with God’s wonderful people” I learn to sing those songs with all my heart, my soul and my body too. I was jumping up and down while singing in my spirit. Dancing while I am alone singing the worshipping songs. The recent song I danced to was a Hebrew song which God gave to me in my “Praise theLord O Jerusalem, Praise the O zion, He has strengthened the bars of your gates,He has blessed the children within you;Praise your God zion” I sang this song along with the singer and dance with all my might when thePM commanded all india to come out drm the plates to get rid of corona in 2020, As that night I got a dream that the gates of mine are closed tightly with iron bars. I Felt sad, thinking why my gates are closed tightly. Gates must be opened to welcome people. So I was led to the spirit of God early hours of the next day even before I opened my eyes. I took the mobile which was just beside me, I opened Youtube instead of Google, I typed closed gates and this song emerged out of nowhere.” the song in Hebrew is like this: “ Shabechi Yerushalayim et Adonai ( Praise the Lord O Jerusalem) Haleli Haleli Elo hayich zion ( Praise the Lord O zion) Ki chizak Berichei She’ arayich ( For He has strengthened the the ars of your gates) Berach banayid Bekirbech( He has bless your children within you)”
As soon as I listened to this song all my grief vanished. Because my gates are closed, I remember the gates I go to church were literally closed. I felt very sorrowful, because the dream was so vivid, telling me the gate of my home was closed with iron rods. In this song they sang my gates are strengthen with bars, andHe has blessed my children within my home” This dream I got in the month of March 2020, before carona touches India,especially Andhra, I
Just as God said in my dream, my gates are closed tightly with iron bars and whoever comes into my house is blessed, and even my children in foreign land. I praise God for His mercy.Later Pm asked Indians to come out of their houses to threaten Carona and make sounds with their plates. He fixed the time. All my neighbours did the same. But I was the only one who put the full sound volume of this song on my youtube TV , closed the doors of my house and danced with the song. Hallelujah ! Amen Amen!!