TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2010
Now I perceive and try to understand such simple faith, just believing that He would answer in His own time when we tell Him is all that matter, and is needed. And answers are sometimes so faraway intimate, just as if He was also feeling just as we do.
I think loneliness is the most hated thing in my life, even in those days. Though I know how to fill my hours in day or in night, I always needed someone, just be there. If I do not have that ‘ someone’ in my life I feel very depressed,
I remember how I used to spend those lonely days with that some one who was nearer than my heart. I used to pray day and night, every minute I used to communicate with Him, He was my constant companion, a bosom friend, and I used to share all my feelings, ideas and thoughts and plans for life with Him. Talking to Him was just a normal thing, I used to sing for Him listen to Him by reading the Holy Scriptures to my hearts content, and sleep in His arms, when I get up in the morning He was the first one to remember and talk to, when I retire in the night He was the last one to take leave, so life was beautiful with this Some One beside me, because He was the one who listens to all my thoughts …
Here is a simple incident to know and assert how keenly He was listening to my whispers even and I was happy for that to know that How nearer He was to me…..!
One day it was raining cats and dogs outside, my parents and sisters were sleeping, it was past 1am in the night , suddenly I felt I was alone and very lonely … I thought I was like a little shivering bird in the rainy dark night. Just then, as if His Holy spirit touched my feelings, a smooth gush of wind just changed the pages of the Bible I was reading and as if to stop the pages, I just touched it and I saw the fowling verse right in front of me (Ref: :lonely sparrow
Photo of a sparrow
`I was reading it with wide eyes, and just then through the open wind one small drenched sparrow flew into my room and sat on the log up in the ceiling of my room. We were staying in an old Bungalow with tiles constructed by Britishers. I t was a old strong bungalow and when I saw that little sparrow just on top of my head shivering all alone, oh, I felt awestricken by His presence. I was amazed and stared and stared at the sparrow I lied dove on the mat when I was reading my bible and was gazing at the sparrow and I don’t remember when I my eye lids closed and slipped into deep slumber. It was life I was sleeping in His arms and in His lap. His cozy comforting presence was seen near. I was thoroughly repressed with that.
`Those were the days I was asking the e Lord to speak to me through His word that He has forgiven of all my misgivings so far I had committed I was a proud girl and short tempered. I had a row with same people I never was afraid of anyone and did not care any one. The first thing God conveyed me that I need to go to those people and reconcile with them. In order to have His forgiveness I need to forgive them all. His instructions was so clear, that unless I set right things with my foes I need not sit and pray to Him any more..(Ref:
I started to humble in the presence of God. I started to reconcile with the people with whom I had a row. I started to pray for them kneeling down telling God how I felt for them. And started to be friendly with them after set right with them.
When I started to change my life in this way and seeking His forgiveness, I found these words in the Bible are heart touching, piercing my very marrow of the bones. When He talks through His word its just cuts me deep and give me great and deep solace.
This verse Ref: “Salvation is a gift of God was something that gave me a great Hope. Yes, it’s a gift and gift to be taken, has to be accepted with grateful heart and open arms. I accepted it. But still my faith was weak. This gift is for all, as Jesus knows me by my name how about if He tells me that He has forgiven me, my very personal inequities, follies, I kept on searching the scriptures, reading them prayerfully and meditating on it and waiting upon Him to touch me. His touch has special healing. That heals the bleeding heart of mine. Only He and me knows that, how it works.
The particular night charged my direction in life. That particular verse gave me great confidence in my life. Now that verse made me to trust that I am child of God hereafter. And I am forgiven, and my past 20 years of life will never have its shadow on my future.
Colossians 2: 13- 14 When you were dead in your sins and in your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having cancelled the written code with its regulations that was against us ( you) and that stand opposed to us(you) , he took it away, nailing it to the cross.”
That was great promise- which was the foundation of my faith that gives me an assurance that hereafter I am the child of God and that He is my Father and that Devil has no power over me. That was the assurance for me, as I am washed in His blood, I will see Him face to face when I breathe my last on this earthly journey. That was the belief I gained that Devil can never sneer at me or snatch me from the fold of His grace.
His blood, His cross made a miracle erasing all my guilty consciousness, all my inquiries, all my follies. He died and nailed on the cross instead of me with my sins on my face.
A new beginning started in my life. He not only touched my soul, my feelings, my heart, even my body started to bloom with good health.
I started to love my parents very much. I want them to enjoy this precious love of God. I was so afraid, whether they would be lost without knowing Him. My agony for them knew no bound. I was praying for them. My soul could be consoled for the way I wept for them.
This burden for the lost souls was a gift from Him. As this anguishes for their souls was unquenchable, He consoled me through a vision one day. I was half awake and I saw myself on the deck of a silver color ship. I was in the audience listening carefully, the word of God being proclaimed by a preacher. Suddenly I heard a shout in the clouds of the sky, “Second Coming of Jesus, Get ready to meet Him”. All were running hither and thither in a frantic way and trying to hide themselves. I was crying loudly and praying to God, “Oh God, save my parents, do not leave them, save my parents.”
Then I saw in the sky a very big Wooden Clock. I heard some one telling me that it was not ordinary clock but its God’s clock. It has two hands, but they are not moving by themselves as in our clocks. This clock has two plates one upon the other which was made up of the wood. The outer plate has a hand and the inner plate has a hand. The outer plate and the inner plate were moving. Systematically. The outer plate and inner plate were moving simultaneously. And I saw the two hands were stopped at the number 11. Both hands showing 11 on the clock. I heard a great loud voice, which was telling me that “Our God’s time has still more 5 minutes to go, in that period both your parents would be save. Do not be panic. Wait in the Lord!
Can you imagine how greatly I was consoled? It’s beyond description.
But one thing I knew was what God told me will be done in due course His time and need to wait and see. . That’s all. What a great God we have! What a loving Father we have!
He gives us pain and agony in our heart for our beloved ones. So that we can experience His love! Oh let our souls are sensitive to His directions at every turn of ourselves.
And there was one more mysterious vision which depicted my future life, and the temptations I would face and a way to escape it too.
There was that blue sky behind a whither tall tree. On its branches sat a number of crows. I was wondering why the crow were sitting so silently.
At once all of them were crowing loudly and left place. Then I saw that blue sky was ripped and there was scenery wherein the most handsome men were walking with shameful faces and like women. This scene was vanished and I saw women of variety dresses walking without fear, then I saw women with some religious dresses. Posing them as of very pure and great personality. Then a great wind blew on them, and they cast all their coverings on their heads, and they felt ashamed because they lost their hair also, they were hiding their faces and shouting “shame shame”
When opened my eyes, I knew that was from the Lord, He was trying to teach me and something. He was also showing me my future where I would be put in great temptation of false show off.
I realized life with Gout God is shame Religious would not save me. Sects would no hold me God wants a pure, devoted heart.
Pure and committed worship. Not out ward appearances. That was a great eye open for me. His benevolent Touch has a meaning in life
His touch has sundry ways for different people.