Pastor’s widow’s Life 2



    Yes I reached home by having a halt in between, at Mary Joshi house, sat in their verendah completely exhausted, too tired to walk further, something is going on in my mind, fully despired, Never I felt so much strained before, I asked, mary ” Mary can u give me a cup of tea please?” ” Ayyo amma, thappakunda” ( Oh Ma, surely I will give ) In fellowhip people call me sister, aunty or amma = ma )   she brought a cup of tea, I was telling her about another aunty who came to stay with us to spend sometime in prayer, I told Mary, “Please take care of her, she is living near your home so it is easy for you to see her needs.”  she gave her consent.  Then I took leave of her, and started to go home, which was three streets away from her house.
slowly I dragged myself to home went and saw my mother was pounding red chilli powder with tamarind and coriander seeds, she told me” Son in law likes this poweder very much so I am preparing now” I told her ” so he is still in the prayer hall? since morning?  I am also very tired ma, I will take a little rest and go and see what he is doing there”  Thus saying I went into our bed room and lied down taking the news paper, in hand.  I must tell  you something about this news paper which I never touched  for 8 years after that day.My husband was so fond of the news paper, he was telling me that he was so fond of it, and in his school days as they do not have money to buy news paper he used to preserve those papers which were given in the pawn shop when they buy any things like salt, tamarind or jaggary etc and stretch those papers and read those papers.
He was so fond of the news papers, he could not take his eyes from the paper once he took it into his hands. Many times I tried to distract him by telling him some thing,  but in vain. so now and then I tried to take away the paper from him playfully only to face unfamiliar wrath in his face. So not able to get his attention from him any way while he was reading the paper, I used to say that its look like he is giving more importance to the news paper rather than me.. Even then I could not succeed, so I was teasing him saying, “O  now you tied up the news paper to your face, and no one can come near to you, its more to you than your dear wife ( that is me)   Whatever , however I tried I could not distract him from the paper all those years.  So in turn I started to read the paper just to kill the time to show him how much irritating it would be if we read the paper while ignoring the person in front of us.  So he knowing my intention, and knowing very well that I was not reading the paper for much news, he used to taunt me saying the same words I used on him. like” O now you tied up the news paper to you face ”
This was a game in between us for many years. which I tried to take such strainful situation in easier way.Well, at that moment my mother came inside the house and sat in the sofa in other room. While I was trying to peep into the paper on my bed.  Then I suddenly heard the banging of the door at the kitchen, which was very unlike of him.  He was a gentle person, never would make any noise or shout,  so when I heard that banging, I told my mom,’mom can you go and open the kitchen door” Before she got up to go there was another banging in from of the house where my mom sat.  He was banging the door .. I thought he came in hurry may be to fetch any instrument which is needed in the House of God.  But within seconds he was in our room , I thought he was going to taunt me saying”O you tie up the news paper again to your face”  But instead I heard him saying, ” Leela, I have reeling sensation.”
In all my married life I never heard him telling me like that. He never complained about his physical ailments. I was the one who used to look into his face finds that he was tired and thereby giving him some thing to drink or eat before he become too tired.   He would never ask me for anything. I used to take care of him as my own eye.     So when I heard him telling me so, I got up at once and took him into my arms and made him to lie down.. saying,” Oh you must had worked too much in the prayer hall, since morning.” Thus saying I got ‘Sorbatrite’ tablet to put it under his tounge, I found that he was trying to grit his teeth hard, at the same time trying not to hurt my fingers in his mouth.  He was such gentleman. I found the gravity of the situation, I picked up the phone and called my friend who was doctor to come at once to attend my husband telling her that he never complains like this , and he is becoming unconscious..
John also came home as their college also was closed for that day, I shouted at him ,” John bring glass of water.” before he brings the water, I saw that he was slipping away, his eyes rolling up, I saw the wall text “You may ask any thing in my name  and I will do it” John 14:14    So I shouted aloud, Lord I ask of Thee give the life to my……husband…. before I finished that little sentence I saw him breathing his last… his eyes were rolling back I shouted Ymandi , Ymandi, no response… I tried to do mouth to mouth respiration, but no response.  I cried aloud, ‘Ma he is dead”  Mom said, No don’t say so, within seconds the people from the prayer hall gathered in the house, somebody brought a doctor next street, she came and said, ‘take him to cordioligist” Sombody brought an auto I made him lie down in my lap Titus came along with me to the hospital.  The doctor gave electric shock and pronounced that he was dead 10 minutes before. I was crying and begging the doctor, to revive my husband. He answered me negatively. saying no use.
It was 29th August 2000 at 11;20 am.  All is over. My life with my dear husband which started on 6th July 1979 at 9am ended abruptly. Everything stopped at once. I was in derailment. no words to speak. I came home. I called sis Kamala Paul and told her. somebody took the dairy and started to inform every one. I was with the dead body of my dear husband. What was  I saying , I did not know. somebody asked me where to keep him. I said “in the prayer hall , he loves that place.”  Tears were unceasingly flowing.  People are coming and talking to me. I was not in senses. staring at  my husband. Is it real? did he really leave me? Nothing seems to be real.  At mid night my daughter came home, she was informed by my cousine that her dad was no more. and brought her home.  That was a shock for her. She started from home the night before with colourful dreams to achieve highest marks in her project submission, her dad left her at the railway station, she never thought that was the last look she had to see her dad.  Life is strange. John was not in this world.  he was moving around like a zombie.. nodding his head or doing things told.  no response, no tears. no reaction.  we were left alone. I cannot controle my tears now. I will continue what had happened later.   in next episode. part 3

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Hello All! I am a retired Lecturer, Former Air Hostesses, and a writer. I love to share MY STORIES, WITH MY GOD.

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