God brings us to a nook where we hate ourselves and understand that no one but God is our refuge, and Redeemer. I was traveling a journey which I never intended to do, but I was there very much , lived in it, past cannot be changed, or rectified, knowing this very well I write these episodes , hoping that my stupidity of doing things would prevent some lonely sincere soul could realized the truth and withdraw his/her feet from those misty paths of confusion which I trod upon and lost many precious moments with my beloved dad…. read… this episode with open mind, as a person from outside… you will understand more than i wrote.. you will read between the lines.. and colors of the lines….

Jesus specifically told us, “Do what they told you, but do not do what they do” – -But we often forget about this important instruction and do the opposite. We do what they are doing but do not do what they told us.—Sad,
They preach the best , they preach from the Word of God, if they do not preach from the word of God, we certainly do not go to them to listen, so the Devil puts the word of God in their mouth, so that we will listen to them get good impression of them, but we forget what they taught on the pulpit, but interested only in what they do.
Thus the trick of satan works successfully in our lives, and those who preach and those who listen but do what they do also perish. Got it??

That’s exactly happens in many churches especially in our LEF too. But some of us took literally what they told us, even off the pulpit, in extreme way, iota to iota, sometimes, and ruined in those areas; we are able to discern in many ways and came out of those traps, means, its only because of God’s grace, and also the inner desire to do the will of God which they told us to do, was a plus point in our spiritual growth.

Whatever they taught to do the Will of God all the time , from the very beginning of our contact with the LEF< They tell us that God talks to us, how blessing it would had been if only we do just what they told us, but how many times we just forget about this important instruction but wait for their instruction instead !!! So who has to blame? Certainly I blame myself hundred per cent hundred. In most of the life decisions, like my job, marriage, children, house, prayer place etc, I sought the Will of God and it did not put me shame. But some other mundane things, of life I depend on them , and there found myself put to shame and useless state. One other thing is, these people preach us to do the Will of God , but they play God many a times, they rub their will upon us saying its good for us, with regard to marriages, resigning jobs, shifting houses, cut off with the relatives, not one nor two, any number of things can be intruded by these wonderful godly looking people, and we will be thrown into endless pitches forever and ever to be burnt. Some times in many cases, if those persons do not listen to their instructions, they will excommunicate the person not to cook for the congregation in the meetings, or send them to preach in the branches of lef, or they are not allowed to teach sunday school children, nor allowed to give witness to the youth, nor speak to other brothers or sisters in LEF>
Therefore, we have to be live on thorny path all the time, trembling, shivering, every minute of life.. depending on them, at the same time killing our own wishes or plans for life. Be aware !! is caution hung on our necks. Beware of dogs!!! nooo Beware of LEF leaders. and preachers, dear folks!!!

Such were the days wherein we were entangled into their traps, nets, and mouse traps, but strange we were feeling that ours is the best devotion, best life, best worship, best prayer, just like the Pharasees, We are the Holier than any one else in the Christendom!! we we, we are the only one in the whole world!! How blind we were, how stupid we were and how much we were cheated by the Evil one!!

We used to tell every one that ” Our LEF have depth, no one has that, come and join us, to be saved and reach God, you do not get this depth any where else” –Those were the beginning days of my separation from LEF, I was too confused by the ways outside LEF, but in heart of hearts I knew that I made the right decision by being separated from LEF at this juncture one of my old acquaintances came to my home , we both were talking something about our other things, but suddenly she asked me , why ” Akka, why people in LEF feel that their church is the only church which is the best of all?”
I found the only answer I could tell her, so I told her, with as faded smile,’ They say that its only church which have depth”
She exclaimed and laughed aloud, “What?!!! Depth?/ you mean, the depth like in a pit? An endless depth so that never could come out of it?? HHAAAhaa ” we both had a hearty laughter realizing the funny word depth with regard to LEF>

In these circumstance I went to see my dad and mom. My dad all ready got heart attack due to enormous stress caused by LEF on him. But all of us, me and my sisters and mom were insisting that he should come back to LEF then he will be healed, In other words we were telling him that he got heart attack because he left LEF> This we did not tell him directly but with many other incidents happened to other people who left LEF. and when those people returned the heart attack was healed.
My dad retired as DSP in the Police Department, There were 5 battalions of Reserve Police constables and 5 Reserve Police officers worning under him. He was powerful Police Officer, after knowing Christ personally, he repented for all the bribes he took in his career, so not able to find out all those people to return that money, he sold some fertile land in E. G. Dt and gave it to jacobs to buy a place for the church in Vizayanagaram in Phool Bhag. Next he was accustomed to all sorts of vices but the Lord delivered him all that past life in a miraculous way.
so retirement of a police officer is not like the retirement of other jobs like mine , Lecturer!! soon after he layed down his office he came to home along with other two constables, they saluted him in attention( lastly) and went off. my dad sat in the sofa, I knelt down at his feet and helped him to relieve his office shoes, and helped him to take away his Office khaki uniform and the belt and hat etc. It means he would never put them again in life !! there was sort of sorrow in the room. in his eyes, in his face. in every one of us. We were accustomed to see dad going to march fast every morning at 4 am, momused to get up and give cup of hot coffee at 3:30 am every day, all through these years. The constable used to come and help dad to put on his uniform and shoes for the march every morning at 3:35 am every day. He used to leave the home with a Lathi ( Police stick ) to the office. This is regualar thing happened since 1952 till he retired in 1985. but because he was not coming to LEF none of us were interested to give a party to him. My husband as usual went to mid week prayer meeting without giving a least importance to his retirement. My dad was alone and alone !! He asked us to come to photo studio to have a photo of family on that last day, but my husband did not turn up. and that last photo was sans my husband whom my dad considered as his beloved son, and only son.

Dad was so very sad. I too made him suffer with my looks, my pride, my self-righteousness, my religion, my association with LEF made to look down at him.
Dad loved me more than any one, he was so considerate of me, any thing he brought he used to say’ first Leela, let her choose for herself first” He used to call me and wanted to talk to me now and then, in those days we did not have phones, so he used to call me on the phone of neighbour, when I got phone I used to shiver , and I used to run to the phone at once, and when I heard his voice, then I would say, with relief” humm, its you nanna garu, thank God!! why I was shivering so much because I was so afraid, whether I would hear an evil news that my dad met an accident and died, or he got terrible illhealth and joined hospital again etc. Because we were brainwashed that those who leave lef will meet accidents and die. Once my brother in law had a fall on road on new scooter, because he was new to ride the scooter. But we were told out right, because he is with your dad all ways he met this accident, because he is helpinng your dad to get his bag this happend. . My younger sister was a premature baby, she used to be very weak in childhood, I used to spend hours together at her bed in kakindad whenver she fell asick, not knowing what to do, I used to give her my company while she was struggle to breath. So her first baby boy while in delivary died , soon after this the lef started to blame her and her husband and me for keeping her in the same apartment built for three of us. as three floors. So immediatly in fear like Lot from Sodom and Gomarrah left the house then and there for rented house leaving all those rooms empty. My two sisters were in Vizag but they were not allowed to stay with my dad in the same building though there were three floors seperately for each one of us.
Once they ordered me to leave the job then and there. After the deat of my husband they started to oppress me to sell my home only home, telling me” you cannot maintain this big house so better you sell it to us and go away to an apartment” I once casually talked to man who came to my home ,saying after the demise of my husband I found no interest in anything and it became very difficult to stay in the house. Instead of giving me a support or encouragement that I should be brave enough to do so he went and reported to the person who usurped me from LEF administration and he happilily wanted to get rid of me from the near by premises and started to push eaders to bring pressure on me to sell. When I rejected he managed to build a Baptistry opposite to my back gate through which we made a way to enter into the center all those years.
Thee are the people who try to devour the houses of the widows seeing their plight and weakness. They told me that it is not good for me to have gold , and better I give them away to the ministry. they indirectly instructed me better i should go in pale colors to college. They told me that my children should not study computers and threatend me that those who study computers will get strange diseases. Also told me to sell th sccoter which was bought by husband just a few months back , because none of us should use it other wise we will meeet accidents..So I sold it. I oobeyed them literally in all these matters. They said I should not have a car, never . so I sold the 5 day new brand car. for 50000 less cost for which I bought.
But one Day God talked to me surprisingly, and to the point, that I have another work and another field to serve Him.. ( will be continued in next episode)

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Hello All! I am a retired Lecturer, Former Air Hostesses, and a writer. I love to share MY STORIES, WITH MY GOD.

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