LEF Self Righteous Christians–The Scarlet Letter


1992-93 academic year completed very smoothly, as my husband was transferred to Eluru in a miraculous way by the mighty hand of God. April was the end of the academic year. we had summer holidays from then on. Shajaan , a final year student of mine was leaving for Vizayanagaram, beyond Vizag. So I asked my husband can I travel with her in the same Simhadhri train as she would be a help for me in my journey with my little children to see my Dad and mom. Surprisingly he had his consent without any other word of objection.

Here I need to tell about my dear father, and also about the church I was going in those days. It was called LEF ( Laymen’s Evangelical Fellowship) Because some times we become so stupid and blind and simpletons and very foolish thinking that what we exercise as devotion to God would ruin our lives and we would never have a chance to correct ourselves for what we did in that foolishness. These circumstances would be so horrible that even when we want to correct them those would be beyond our capacity and would never be possible to do so. In that proecess we not only hurt ourselves but we hurt those whom we really so much in our lives . We felt that we were doing good to them but in fact we were ruining them by going against the word of God. I confess this that I did in that same way thinking that I was serving God.
Of course I was such a foolish one, self righteous, presumptuous, and proud person but in the heart of heart I certainly believed that I was following God and doing only His will. I trusted Him that I was in His will. May be that was the reason God also ignored to left me alone, He was just indifferent in those days about my foolishness.
Now I see that God in His wonderful wisdom and endurance just bore with me as He was with Abraham or Paul leaving them to do whatever they wanted to do till the day they were confronted by Him in strange ways.
In every body life if they really love God sometimes the foolishness prevails in the lives of such people will be tolerated by God to bring good in them because of His majestic love for such soul. He did not forsake me.

I want to tell you in more detailed manner, Look at the orthodox heathen people they worship the creation leaving the creator, like they call paper money as goddess, they call paper which were invented by man as another goddess, they worship fire, water, and air, and earth, They believe it with all their mind and soul, never they doubt that they have been cheated by their own self, They forgot the Creator of the world, but the love of God so vast He would not bring destruction upon them , He just endures everything and very slowly He deals with them to woo them , to show them His eternal love. Just because He was tolerant of them does not mean what they were doing was right, the deeds were all together wrong but God was looking at their motive, their desire to reach God so the Soveriegn God just tolerates them until they come to Him. Even in their darkness He tries to reach them and to reveal Himself. He would consider their darkness and the deeds of darkness as the way to reach Him. One of them was Paravasthu Suryanarayana, God revealed Himself to this Hindu priest in the sanctuary of the Idol temple in Poori Jagannadhaswami temple. He was an expert in Vedas, the Hindu philosophy, very orthodox priest , proud man but as he was reading the Hindu scriptures God revealed Himself through those very scriptures and delivered him from the clutches of caste and idol worship. Jesus Christ Himself went into the sanctuary of Idol Temple and where this man was , and talked to him.
So was Sadhu Sundar Singh a Sikh boy who hated Bible and Christians so very much but very fond of his Hindu vedas, He burnt theBible with kerosen and wanted to commit suicide if God whom he was praying that was krishna would not come and reveal himself to him that night. But Krishna did not come to him but Christ Himself came to that boy that night.
God was looking at the motive of people not their foolish ways and means , to reach Him. If the motive was true to the core, He would not hesitate to come down to reveal to such people like those above I mentioned.
So was with the case of Saul who learnt the philosophy of Jews at the feet of Gamalalia, believed his mission to kill Christians was good in the sight of God, and when he was about to fulfill that mission of killing all Christians, because he thought it was God’s work he was about to do. God saw the desire in his heart to serve God, though his means was quiet wrong, So He himself respected the inner desire of saul and met him on the road to Damscus and changed his life from Saul to Paul.
God’s ways are mysterious, no one can tell His ways in terms of black and white design, to understand Him a little even requires a lot of suffering on the part of man. Without suffering and experience with God, people can never come to understand other human beings. The man who accepted the murder of Stephen , the man who was terror to Christians , turned up into the most influential person of Christendom later. Most of the epistles in the Bible were written by him. God loved this man even when was going in the wrong way because his heart’s motive was good in the sight of God. That is seeking the God, serving the God.

For some years I too was like that, I was with full of self righteousness, presumption, and religious maniac, blind spiritually, I was thinking that I was right even then. I did not leave the presence of God,
I prayed for the salvation of my dad since the very first day I accepted Christ, in tears, I prayed for him, I loved him so much, i led him in the way of salvation, but later I started to hate him, I left him I caused a lot of pain for him but still God in His Sovereign love and endurance accepted me even when my dad and His disciple had to undergo a lot of suffering, just like Stephen of the old.
I am trying my level best to explain these things in simpler form, but even them I found my words and flow of language is insufficient to read you to explain everything I did undergone in those days, in detail. Because that agony, that repentance, that suffering In my heart is too hard to explain in words.
Because I was so foolish in those days, now I am able understand people who are sailing in the same boat of mine which was a past in my life. It is helping me to love them and to guide them properly. When I see them travelling that wrong path I walked upon, I plead for them in tears, and understand them in tears, I pray for them in tears.

My dad was a courageous Police officer. Brave , disciplined and intelligent and very valiant in his attitude and deeds. Though born in a village, , in those days, he went all the way to Malabar to get trained as a Police officer under British discipline, got job in Madras and lived like a lion. He learned all those bad habits of police officers of those days, his roaring voice was his plus point, his height and weight brought him to the highest realms of his career, he had social drinking, had to use vulgar language to deal with the bandicoots of the anti social elements, and also lived as he likes.
after I received Christ as my personal Saviour, and after I repented of my life and got the assurance of salvation, the first person for whom i started to pray with burden was my father. So thought it took a number of years for him to come to the Lord, as usual he was honest and sincere in his seeking the lord, and he too repented and set right things with God and man and got the assurance of salvation and then took baptism and turned up from a lion life to a humble sheep in his word and deeds. He left all those old wild vices, and we had a very peaceful and joyful home with the love of God and truthfulness of God. We were bound together, in His love and fear of God reigns over us. Then some terrible thing happened in our family.
I started to listen to the word of God first in LEF so I led my mom, dad, and sisters, and all my relatives to this church wherever they were. I used to introduce them to the church leaders, or pastors and entrust them to them . That is how I entrusted my dad to Br. Jacob and Sis Ruth , in Vizayanagaram and Vishakapatnam. where they were incharge of LEF in both places. They loved my dad for his guiless qualities, and called him Nathaniel and led him to the Lord to be baptised too..
But there arised some misunderstandings or misgivings between this couple and the leaders of HQ. They realized the HQ is not in the right path of God , as it was founded in the beginning, this happened in the year 1982. As a result this couple which was staunch believers in LEF and stawlwarts of the foundations of LEF left it then and there. But they had given the reason of their decision to my dad and some other important people in the church. They told them how LEF HQ including JD and KP are of having double standars and how they were cheating people, Edward Rajaratnam and William Rajaratnam the first cousines of JD were in Vizag at that time. They too affirmed the misdoings of JD and KP and they too left LEF> So dad as he had much experience of people behavious, and as wise man he supported jacobs and left LEF and started to attend the church they started.
But for us , we were taught that LEF Is the only true church, in this alone there is real and truthful leading for the salvation of the souls, This is light, so any body left this Light means they are going into the dark, and they become darkness. We were taught that we never should listen to the word of God any where else. We were told if we listen to any other people we will be possessed by evil spirits. Jacobs echoed the voice of LEF to us. We were not supposed to invite any other pastor of any other church.. we were taught that we should keep this attitude always, i.e., They should turn up towards us, and we never should turn towards others. Because there are pastures in LEF the real sheep of Jesus need not go any other pastures for the food. I f they go they will be destroyed and die. They often told us there is depth in LEF which is not found any where in any other church. Because all other churches give only decietful word and they only cheat us, So we dare not to go to any other church even our christian friends invite us. We never mix with other Christians. EVen in our work place or any other place when we met other Christians , we used to maintain an attitude of sympathy for them like” Poor people these people’s Christianity is so poor, and we were trying to bring them to our LEF by hook or crook

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Hello All! I am a retired Lecturer, Former Air Hostesses, and a writer. I love to share MY STORIES, WITH MY GOD.

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