As the gray years pushing us aside of the shore, as we swim to the other end of ocean, which is not in the capacity of common understanding, God gives us an outlook , a talent to be above the life, not in it, too far away from it, and help us to look at it as though we are from other planet.
We no more live in it, we come to a stage that all things that are happening around us as stories, beautifully stories, which are woven by God , which are not in the skillful hands of human, however he tries. I have a strange feeling, I live but I really do not live. I am on this earth but strangely I look down at this life as if I am from another planet… something is happening, or preparing me.. ??
I have come to Dallas, Texas.
I came to see my old friend in Arkansas, our friendship was of 1969.. right back in PUC in Maris Stella, Vijayawada, AP, India.
I met many old friends like this before, but with this dear friend the way we both sailing in the same boat making us to enjoy each other’s presence more than any one else.
Once my old friend of my school days, my senior though, came to see me, but her attitude and disposition was changed after along time gap between us, her aspirations, her way of life , her troubles made her a different person from whom I knew and enjoyed her friendship in the years 1966 to 1968.. and thereafter now and then.
Her life was such pathetic, which I could not digest during our short meetings now and then after 2011. The life gave her a very tough paths, which were a sort of unknown path to me to understand.
She married a Muslim handsome boy, and went away from home to Chennai in those days.. Love was so strong, they toiled against all the tides of life and established themselves with two cute children a boy and girl . Her loving husband was so wonderfully took care of her, and children for a long time. He started his own business and they maintained a lavish stylish life.
Till then I knew the family, and later as I was married, and entangled with many commitments, I did not dare to have connections with my old friends, (LEF rule on one side that we should not be associated with old non-christian friends or relatives), so I almost severed from her friendship.
But whenever I visited my aunty , I was making it a point to see her in that town. Those were short and brief meetings. Later her husband died of consuming too much of Alcohol, and Cigars, at the end of the life he could not leave anything to her except of so many debts and without a house to live in. She lost all her wealth, and debtors took everything, her daughter went in search of a job to far away places and lost in the tides of life. She used to visit her parents rarely, and did not willing to come back to settle in normalcy of calm going life. Son married a Hindu again, and became a puppet in the hands of the her and in laws, due to financial insecurity. My friend suffered with sever diabetes and started to take insulin injections everyday. Now not having money in hand to meet the expenses of her stylish rented house as in the days of her husband , and meeting her own expenses of medicines .. etc became beyond her capacity. She relied upon her daughter and son to this extent.
Suddenly one day she called me and started to cry aloud, in the phone, wailing, aloud, Leela , my son died my son died. he was 45 years old, died suddenly with massive heart attack. I tried to meet her, but she discouraged me not to come due to her relatives complications. She never gave scope to meet her in her home residence. I do not know the reason. Later I got another call from a distant place that she was with her daughter, later another call from Goa that her daughter and she were shifted to that place as she got her project to finish. Later I lost her track to this day. I just wait for her call. I wonder what made her life so cruel, why such beautiful life which was started so courageously, should end up so pathetically. I wonder why life is all ways ends tragically for some, without any reason.
These friends of mine were good people, we walked together, we laughed together, we enjoyed our lives in fun and frolic, we dreamed together about our future, but the end was different, for each one of us its different, and we do not know what is awaiting for us furthermore.
And now about this dear friend, She is a beauty, got married to a boy who was in America , in late 1970s. Came to USA with so many dreams of a young girl. The boy was a dupe though he loved her very much, he did not have financial stability. she was a girl from a well to do family. She was utterly disappointed, besides he was addicted to chewing leaves and drugs and cigar in his mouth. It was disgusting to look at.
She started to work and earn for herself, as Rail conductor, some times two jobs in a day. The boy proved himself not able to take care of her either financially or fulfill his duties as a husband.
Though she lived in western culture, it did not give her a desire to divorce him, she stayed with him for the sake of her mother and father’s honor.
she had horrible years of married life for a long period of time. He developed cancer in his mouth, as the chewing of undesirable stuff reacted(Paan Paraag)
He lost everything health, jobs, etc. She started to take care of him day and night, besides attending the job . Three months of pain and bleeding, the man breathed his last. She was left with nothing, no children.. She has some money and roof to live in. She lives quiet good financially but literally none to rely upon.
Loneliness is too ugly .
Both my friends are beautiful women, and maintain themselves so well, no one will think that they are suffering from so many health problems, and loneliness.
Outwardly they look like people without any problem, smiling and beautiful with good attire and style.
But nobody kno
ws the inner life, and void they face in their life.
Life is a mystery.
There she was cool and quet beautiful , tall and well dressed up with good make up , kajal lipstick, I introduced myself saying ” I am Leela, are you Dr. Nirmala?” “Yes I am Grace Nirmala “said she with a grim face. I wondered, and thought, she must be a little
above our range of friends, I smiled and went away from her. She was supposed to take a class for us , we went to an International Huggai Seminar in Hyderabad.
We were given very good accommodation, and food in good hotel. We had nice time together , that was the last but one day of the seminar. She was supposed to spek in the after noon session, we all sat for lunch, the seat beside me was vacant, I saw her coming towards me and sitting beside me.
As usual the mates at the dinner hesitated to speak to this posh lady, but I started some casual conversation with her, every one left the table but we both were still digging into our plates, there was still more time to go to rooms and refresh and come back to the class.
I asked about her, she told me that she is a gynecologist , When I asked her about her family she had a very sad story to tell me.
That brought us together so close , so knitted together and made us friends forever.
We love each other from the core of our hearts, though she is the most famous doctor she is the most humble friend I have ever, all ways find time to talk to me and exchange certain inner life issues with each other.
I visualized her story, in my mind, I like to write it here as I have it in my mind according to her version of the incidents happened in her life. I will try to put it here as coolly as possible.
“They were on holiday, went to beach to relax and enjoy the cool breez in the evening, After relaxing for some time on the white dunes of the sand, her only son and her husband thought it would be more funny if they could swim in the waters for a while. She relaxed more on the sand leaning back and looking at them as they splashing the water on one another. She praised God for such wonderful loving husband and the son, ‘its His grace’ she reflected … the good old days so far.
Suddenly there was some horrible shouts at the beach people running toward the waters, there she saw her husband and son were being washed off the shore further, they were breathless, shouting for help lifting up their hands, ‘help and help’ some men tried to jump into the water and tried to help them but the whirlpool sucked them at once. People and she waited for an hour for them to emerge from the water, but no signs of them. Later in the late night their dead bodies washed to the shore somewhere else.
She could not remember what happened then, not even a thing, she was in shock.. nothing look real, somebody escorted her to the hotel they lodged, somebody called her relatives, somebody put her back to home.
One minute and everything changed, it happened long back still the story is vivid in front of her eyes, she has not much to share about this, the voice quivers still, and the beautiful eyes has their traces of water… which were hidden back under the black kajal.
She is known for her compassionate service in her town, she worked for patients, the cases which could not be dealt with also she did successfully because of her prayer life. Lives alone in a big house, I thought of spending some days with her asked her for a paying guest facility anywhere else. she said, ‘how could it be Leela , you have to come and stay with me’ that is all. ”
Though we met three years back the emails, phones, and other things go regularly. Hardly I spent 5 or 6 hours with her in Hyderabad, but the love of God implanted an indelible print in our lives. We both knew we are going to be good friends for life. and that is true.
I will write another friend doctor’s life in next episode. Sweet smiles on her face for every patient that comes to her clinic, she comforts them with her skillful physician hand. There on the wall a poster explaining that Jesus is the only Healer and Comforter of everyone. There were New Testaments available to take away in OP for the patients. She is slim and fair, tall, and in Venkatagiri starched handloom sarees, with short leaves and diamond bangles twinkling now and then, just as her smiles on her face.
When she got married she did not know the Lord Jesus Christ, did not know how to pray. She loved and married a christian doctor who is a Pediatrician, then she learned to love the Lord, pray, listen to the Word of God and read.
Her parents live just 60kms afar, in a nearby city. Every week end she visits them along with her two little kids, it was 2000 August, she met a major car accident her two boys aged 5 and 6 were killed on the spot, she escaped with deep injuries.
Story did not end there, she recovered later, physically, courageous, and started her life, again, got pregnant, this time her baby is afflicted with autism, ferocious, uncontrollable, again second pregnancy got a girl baby, a little too childish to her age.
Life goes on, but I see the beautiful mother in her, there are many problems in life in and out, never she is disturbed. Prays and submits her life to God. She loves her children, especially her autistic boy, works for him day and night, works for him , made him a champion of swimming, got some state level awards.
For some the life is bed of roses, the thorns are invisible, but for some life is bed of thorns.. still the oozing blood could not disturb them they live like the roses on the thorns. What we learn and what we do not learn from them left to the learning heart of people. Those who go deep into their lives, those who have a desire to learn from other lives have this wisdom awaits to grab it.
Life seems to be good for some one not so good for someone, bad for some one and worst to some one… still Life this life given by God is a gift.. only His name and His blood gives us to forebear everything in it. God bless these dear friend of mine. Whisper a prayer for her.