End Days+ Church issues

MY DAD AND LEF ( Part 5 )


MY DAD AND LEF ( Part 5 )
             Answered prayers strengthen us and helps us to proceed in life with more fervor to the Lord, and with deepened love for Him and  more  gratitude in heart to serve Him.  If this is not the result of those answered prayers, we will be puffed up and become selfish and useless in course of time. 
I am recording the answered prayers here in this place to encourage others to wait upon His answeres and to act upon them, which will never put us to shame.

        Since 1973 I was accustomed to write a small dairy like book , apart from my regular journal, of everyday walk with God. This little book of palm size had two columns on each page.  The columns headings were as  ” I ASKED GOD’   — HE ANSWERED”. So when I sit in the presence of Lord, I was clear what to ask Him and also was very clear that I have to ask Him persistently till I get the answer from Him.  Therefore it was my wont , that I wait for the answer and record both my prayer and answer with dates, in those columns.   

      After I got married, both my husband and myself entered our prayer requests in that little book and wait upon the Lord for answers and registered those answers there. 
      After his demise I was asked to take care of the LEF center for 3 consecutive years , I was taking care of supervising the administration, extension of the church premises, taking care of the needs of people, entrusting different works to different brothers according their capacity and sending money to HQ every month by counting the money by two brothers in the church etc.  The regular revival meetings, children retreats were keeping on going as before. I was not preaching on sundays, which I never did or would, but the things were going on just like as it was when my husband was with me. I used to refere his dairy for guidelines of church work. and instruct the same to the few helpers in the ministry.  It went on allmost till 2003,
Suddenly a new pastor was posted in that place without my knowledge, this man was a sunday school boy for me once upon a time when we were working in other place.  So when he came told me I was happy to have a son like pastor in that place, I believed he would have the same respect for me to take guidance in church work as he was given pastorship first time in this place. In fact i was a little bit disappointed, and thought if only an elderly couple with much more experience and knowledge might have come to this place so that I can be under their wings and carry on the work as it was before. But this man newly married and came and started to behave in different way, which I never believed it would be so. Completely ignored me, and started to behave indifferently, the people started to behave weirdly, fearing him , stopped to talk to me in his presence, stopped to come to me all together, I became just another a member in the church,  the most revered women’s meeting timings were changed without my notice, everything was in his hands , never have courtesy to inform me or seek advice from me, and he just started to behave as an usurper.

The strange behaviour of this couple used to hurt me very much, one day I came home from church and sat in my chair while the tears were rolling down my cheeks… and I was praying and dozed to sleep for a minute , then I heard a voice , strong and firm in my head, ” SHAELTIEL” it was heard thrice, first time I heard it and jerked from the dozing , and again dozed and heard it twice again.  Immediatly I got up from the chair and got the Bible concordance to check up this word, I knew it was from the Bible but I was not acquited with any person of that name.  When I found the meaning of that word is ” I ASKED GOD’– I heard His still small voice… “You are writing a book called I ASKED GOD right?  Its the time for you to ask more, Ask of me I will give you, Ask for the ministry I will give, why you worry about this church and the ministry here? Ask”    Then and there I knelt down and asked God for the work to do for Him,  I was clearly led by Him that I need not stick to this LEF any more in ordered to serve Him in different fields,  a number of fields awaiting to minister.. First I must stop to go to LEF, then the Lord is going to show me where I have to work.”   I got up from my knees, not knowing what does He means .  I did not know any other church except LEF since my conversion to christianity, I never knew any persons in christianity.  But I was waiting for His answer. Days going by… I told the new pastor , that I am going to have memorial service of my husband, he objected for it, and contacted HQ immediatly and I got summons, that ‘it is not necessary to conduct the memorial service of my dead husband, its not desirable, he wrote to me that he was against all these memorial services, and in fact he did not want his own fathers’s memorial since a long, and now he is intended to stop it even.  and If  I insist that I should have I can have it in my little hall where only three or four people can be called and pray for an hour and disperse.” That was the letter I got in 2003,  I obeyed them literally. but they did not fulfill what they wrote in that letter, the memorial service of his father is going on even now to this year.  I told you they tell us morals but they never do them. I still do not know what was wrong with to conduct memorial service of the man of God who toiled for the church for 15 long years and almost laid down his life for that work . And exemplary pastor’s memorial service was objected by these people just because they were jelous of him and feared for their own fame and name, worried people would remember him again and thereby remember the sacrifice of the family and again love me. These and many other vested interests made them to cut my heart into pieces by stopping the memorial service of my husband.
One of those days one boy who was turned up into  a pastor , came to my home and encouraged me to start a children magazine called,
AMMA VODI ( in the lap of mother)  and encouraged me to give messages in TV channels.   With his encouragement I started to stand firm , and started to have my own ministry . This new usurper announce on the stage  telling people that they need not read any other magazine except lef magazines, he was afraid of my magazine that if people read it they will come to know of the facts and truth of LEF>

But when I went to vizag I was still in LEF, and my husband was still alive, it was the year 1992 … my dad was waiting for me, as the train Simhadhri was a bit late, my dad was anxiously waiting on the steps of the first floor . I said,’ why nanna, garu, why you have to wait for me, any way I will come know…!”  he was happy for my arrival,  later I came to know he was supposed to join the hospital the previous day but he postponed it because I was coming home, he did told me later in the hospital.later when i joined him.
I found he was breathless, when I inquired my mom, and sister, they told me, now and then he is like that only, but later he would be all right. Not knowing the gravity of the situation, though I was much worried about his health condition, I was cleaning his room, and washing his clothes etc while talking to him. He was looking at me and talking to me with much difficulty, I was uncomfortable about this situation, then one of his doctor friend came and told me this is urgent and i should take him to hospital. The previous night I was with my dad , he complained there was pain in his back, I rubbed the pain balm, but I never suspected any heart attack, my mom and sister and brother in law were telling me its normal , some times he feels so, so nothing to worry.  I was with my dad late in night, I was praying and singing the song about the blood of Jesus, slowly and massaging his back.  In the middle of the night, my mom came in and said, you traveled today , you look very tired go and sleep , I will be with dad, thus she sent me to my room. I knelt down to pray before retiring to bed, then I heard a voice , it was very clear again.” If you do not pray for your father now, there is no use to pray later”   I was shocked, I continued to pray for a long time for the soul of my dad, for his redemption , for his healing of body and mind.   when I went to bed i do not remember.

My dad my dad, I was very cruel towards him, I did not show my love to him, I did not express my gratitude to him for all that he did for me, on the other hand I was condemning him,  I loved him, but I was supposed to not love him, nor show my respect to him, if I did , I am not a true LEFITE—–
When the doctor told me to take my dad to hospital, KGH  i got an auto, put his clothes in small case i folded him into my right arm and took him to hospital at once,  on the way to hospital something happend,  I saw  big red letters in front of my eyes,  in telugu just for a second and disappeared, “There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ” …  Then I found myself telling me, {oh then there is no punishment to my dad, because he is in the Lord, though he is not in lef,) my heart at peace I admitted  him in the hospital, that was the  first time I ever saw the ECG reading, I was there with him, all through, the staff ware so indifferent, they never cared the patient,  I was there alone praying and waiting in the hospital  When I was in my 5th class I got measles, dad was all in all for me, he took care of me so much, he brought whatever I wanted to have, I still remember I asked him that I wanted to eat Kaajaalu, he brought white kaajalu which we used to call Kommulu, so I said I do not want them and I want only those brown ones, he at once got them for me.  He used to take me to the doctor on his bike and used to talk to the doctor .. When I got double typhoid in my 9th class, he was with me all the time, he used to bring the doctor John In Guntur and was so careful about my diet and my bed. I remeber how you used to worry when I got cramps in my legs, and everyday he used to take me to the doctor in my BA days in kakinada, later I started to suffer from terrible weakness and breathlessness, in Vizag, he was there to take me to different doctors and though it was beyond his capability he got the perfect treatment for me . When I got jaundice and about to die, in Vizayanagaram he was with me , took me to many doctors, he used to lift me with his hands so that I can be put in the zeep to go to the doctor.. .. he was such loving father, took care of me in tender way, Once I went to Vizag with whole body swollen he took me to doctor Chittipanthulu, stayed with me till I got healed and sent me home to Eluru.   How can I forget him , his tender care ,  now he was on bed, not able to move , the tears were rolling down .. I was following the instructions of the doctor meticulously.  They admitted  him in the hospital, by then my sisters mom and brothers in law all came to the hospital,  After he was joined in the ICU    I told them I will be with him till he is recovered,  because I want to take care of him. I have holidays, you have jobs to do. I want to serve him, no need to stay with him, i can take care of him.  Thus I sent them homes , I stayed with him day and night , I did not eat nor took care of myself, I was there for him in prayer and pleading for his soul day and night, one day suddenly I heard a voice, ” we have to go to him, he will not come to us” the words David spoke about his dead child to his servants.  I did not understand, but I understand that there it is , a death, my dad is going to die?  no no.. I knelt down and prayed bitterly crying for the soul of my dad… and for his healing,  I did not know how and why I started to pray like this. but I was led to pray by the Spirit.. like this” Lord, what about the soul of my dad, I am afraid , how do I know that he will come to You only, How do i know he reached you , not condemned?( i had fear if he die he may go to hell because he is not in lef)   the most stupidest of all, my brain was corrupted, i was brainwashed fool by the lef.
But God in His mercy answered me” You will know he has come to me , by his peaceful death”
I understood that in my own way, i thought he would not die by accident, but he will have natural death, even though he left lef, but never it occurred to me that he is going to die the next day.   I thought he would be healed and come home but die later after  awhile after many days, in peace.
So the next days he was spic and span, got up from the bed, I was a stupid not to understand the reading of the echo machine, I was educated moron, I did not understand any thing that was going on there, as he got up from bed, I changed his dress, I gave good white dress and helped him to dress,  and I asked him the first and last time whether I could shave his grown up hair on face, and cleaned his  face brushed his teeth, and I too was very weary of fasting  I took his permission to go home and change my dress, and have a bath. I asked my brother in law to stay with my dad in my absence,  I took leave of him, he sent me with sorrowful eyes, he felt that he did not give any thing to me as he had given to my sisters . I said nothing to worry, and I never desired anything from him . those were the last words we spoke to each other.
I left him and went home and made my sister and mom to go to hospital, and stay with dad till come .
but by 12 noon, my brother in law came to fetch me to the hospital, on the way he informed me that my dad died.  my mom went and gave food to him,  and my both sisters with with him , then he asked forgiveness of my mom once again and laid down his head in her lap and died.
I could not understand why I was not there with him in the last moment.  This question haunted me … till I shared this story to my principal Sr. Winifred in the college . after one month.
We brought my dad home,

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Hello All! I am a retired Lecturer, Former Air Hostesses, and a writer. I love to share MY STORIES, WITH MY GOD.

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