Past—Present—choosing place to live
People often ask me, —- “Why I am staying alone in Eluru, whereas my children are in America and Australia, why I would prefer to go and stay with them, rather than staying here, who is here, to look after me, what is the use of living all alone in this house.”
— Even the so called heads of the evangelical groups started to pray that I should evacuate the house , so that they can use my premises for their vested interests in the name of religion. Their kindly advice goes like this, —–” hey , you widow, your husband was such a godly man, he lived for God and died in God service, you as a lonely widow cannot maintain the house, and the garden (????) , better you sell this place to us to the lowest price that ever exist, and thereby God would bless you and your children for the little sacrifice you do”——-
I was asked by my friends, what is the meaning of living all alone in an individual house. and they freely gave their easy advice telling me to buy a flat in an apartment, and shift from here.
Some started to tell me that this house is not very good according to their superstitions and thereby i better demolish this and construct another one; which may cost me around 20 lakhs… , knowing pretty well that I need not go through all that unnecessary ordeal at this age. ( I am 59, nearing 60 years)
Strangely, only my neighbors never uttered a single word against my stay over in this street, living all alone. We purchased this house in the year 1994 and they know how I lived with my husband and children, my job, my children studies, my children marriages, my grand children.etc etc.
Even my own kith and kin, especially my own blood relations, have an yellow eye on my comfortable life, and they inwardly crave for the piece of land my dad has given to me, and they covet that hoping that they could lay down their greedy hand on it if only I leave this country and die else where.
So I started to quest the answer for these questions, brooding over these simply stupid advices , wondering how far they meant to be good for me.
So here I am recording what all that I did after I have come from USA after 5 months long stay, what I gained there, what I lost here, evaluating my life. The pros and cons of my life there and here.
First of all let me put down what I have done after I came on Nov 23rd 2011.
I got a flight to Gannavaram straight from Shamshabad and reached home with the help of my kindly friends, Karun and Sunder who has come all the way to the Airport to transport me to my home. The love and kindness, the effort they have taken the money they spent for me on petrol cannot be counted in coins. I owe them my love and prayers for their development in spiritual and academic lives. Their parents Indira and kaviraju , a constant comfort to my ailing lame life since the days of my husband.
Even in shamshabad airport Solomon and his dad, Able Raju came to see me to leave for eluru. He bought a flight ticket for me from Hyderabad to eluru, and of course i paid the money back to them. But the effort they have taken to send me off, is cannot be measured in money wise.
After I came , the first news i heard is that Andal my dear friend who used to call me “Akka” since the beginning of our acquaintance had passed away just the same day I arrived to Eluru, only a few hours before.
So the very next day as soon as I came to know that sad news, I rushed to their home taking some of the people I knew in the church. I spent some time there talked to many known people whom I did not see for an year from that day.
The next day I went to see Manimma, my old teacher friend of ages, who lost her ailing husband when I was in USA I spent some time with them , thanking God for Krupa who was my helper to give some companionship , at home.
Manimma and her son tried to inflict strange ideas of true church , trying to win my confidence telling me that ” the Church of Christ is the only true church as it is founded on the name of Jesus Christ. They claimed that the member of their church will go to heaven but no the other churches because all the other churches are not in the name of Jesus Christ, but in the name of leaders or on their concepts.
Later I come to know Hari , our beloved girl who died when i was in USA , her memorial service would be conducted in Thadepalli Gudem, So I took a cab and visited that place and od has given me an opportunity to speak about her in the service. Later I went to Kakinada and stayed with Aunty for one night , the next day I went to steel plant where I could visit Hema and vijaya valli , had lunch there and went to see my mother in vizag and we went to see chinnababy and stayed that night there and next day stayed with mom , cleaned my room and returned home after three days of journey. It costed me 5450 rupees.
Next I had a letter from DHE office that I need to tie up new proposals for revised pay scale pension plan. so I had to book a ticket in the berth bus and went and stayed with Solome and Able Raju family, we went to the house of Manohara, and Joy and another house, later we went to ECIL and went to the hosue of prabhavathi sister of Madhulikha, and to the hosuer of anohter sister where i gave word of God to Leelavathi, suneetha and other sisters like Jayakumari, I met Reddyanna in the bus stop.later i stayed till annie come and then went and stayed with mary aunty, for three days. Durin that stay I visited Pushpa house, Nirmala house, and Kumar house, and Padma house and Cecelia house and Pushapavathi house. I visited Menonite church. Later i returned home I thought I should not travel any more.
But it so happened my mom said that she is willing to come to eluru so I booked another cab and went to pick up my mom , on the way I went to see Brother Rufus house in Rajahmundry. Sr. Theresa Cherian in Mangalapalem in St Anne High school , later I came home the same day at about 12 midnight.
Today I went to a wedding of Timothy and Hepsiba in Abraham church . I went to Madhavi house for dinner , and also I went to see Sr Mercy and SR Ursula , I went to Old students day, and Christmas party in the college, also went to Mrs Catherine husband memorial day in thanallamudi . I went to Bible study twice, in CYSC and went to Mrs swarna kamala house twice and Anila house once and visited every hosue in our street on Jan 1st to ive some cakes and fruits. I attended the wedding of Joshua son of bro. Devasahayam. and attended Andal memorial service. I went to see Christina who lost her teenage daughter in an accident, also attended the memorial serice . I visited the house of Babu rao and Esther and prayed . I visited my old student house Sailaja and spend some time with her and her husband. I visited Nirmala jyothi and Neeraja and spend one afternoon, in their apartment opposite BSNL office. All this happend in my life within the span of 64 days in India. Life is good and active, and energetic, and lively. I donot feel lonely here. I cook well and eat well and I have visitors at home. like Sridevi, Achuthamba and krishan rao, Bardwaja, Murali, Abraham Santhakumari Renson babu, Lazrus, Suresh, and many others.
I went to Vijayroy and visited the site of Happy and james, and visited the hosue of Nagaswarao.
So this is my life , tomorrow I will go to Madhulatha hotel to spend some time with my college friends on occasion of retirement of Leelakumari. Later i have some errand to finish in CYSC as a helping hand to John Ratnam aunty.
This is how my life at random sample, I visited Dental hospital thrice all ready for some errand, Ao this my life so busy and happy in Eluru, in India. I went to I bought good blouses and got them stitched, I shopped in Hyderabad and bought 4saries and i shopped in CMR in vizag and bought 2 sarees there. Thus my craving for shopping also fulfilled. I lived my life as I like .uht good nice hand bags, and bought saries for my sisters Is it possible in USA or in Vizag ??? Never never , I went to Virginia beach , visited many houses parties, and bible study classes, women retreats and sing simplicity classes, restaurants, but those were not my choice , i just attended along with he other family, the family of Happy and james, even the shopping was not of my choice. i had really really great life, but some how i did not have that thrill and freedom now I enjoy here, there i visited Lynchburg and even the life there was active and energetic but i had to travel in their car, and i was just passive spectator, I had no choice of my own, i just follow the life they lead. umm any way, in vizag i never know any one there if i went with my sisters, social get together s. i had friends in the church but i did not have my own vehicle, i had to depend on some others to go out not like in Eluru, …(2 b cont)
I have been praying for my children, they are in different countries, and they are facing different types of problems. some times I go to them thinking that I may help them, but to my dismay I found that I am not that help to them. So I retreat myself to pray for them. But the pent up emotions sometimes go beyond my capacity of suppressing them. I found that and also observed them working hard and facing hardships of daily life. Strange country and strange routine life have to be handled in strange way. I am just sitting over there not able to help them as I would like to. I am handicapped to help them as I used to do. Because I am not the citizen of those countries. My rights are in my in own country. I know people who love me and whom I love in my own country. I do find people even in these countries to love and to be loved. But they are allways concious of my going back to india.