We do often say that we do trust in God , just as the emblem of USA dollar proclaims boldly. But do we really trust in God or only in Dollar?
“Those who honor me I will honor, but those who despise me will be disdained. 1 Samuel 2:30
This was another time that the bribe is asked in our college to give away to the concerned staff to get our arrears released. This time the whole college staff were against but particularly three of the staff members, who had taken further step to see the end of my principle. They tried to convince me.One said : “How come you only have some principle ? Do you think I do not have any principle? I was against giving dowry in my marriage, but the one whom I married cheated me and took the dowry without my knowledge, when I came to know I divorced him. So what do you think ? Do not dare to think that you are the only one with principles”.
What message she wanted to convey to me? I do not understand. but I was kept my low profile, and humbly requested them I could not participate in giving Bribe for the work the staff has to to do to release our arrears in DHE Office.
God spoke to me through Acts 18:9 “Do not be afraid any longer, but go on speaking and do not be silent…”
The next day was the day the Principal Winifred was taken into task, when she was pressurized to make me to give the bribe; she being a very God fearing sister, by chance,she answered the staff , that “May be because there it is written in the Bible , not to give or take bribe: she is not giving (that is me)” This statement enraged one lecturer to the core of her being, she started to shout loudly saying,” Is it not written in our Puranas??( Mythology) that we should not give , only in the Bible? How can You say so? Its written even in our books, but are we not giving ?” Funny what message she wanted to give is not clear even in this.
I believe the Lord brought up lot of confusion among them and made them to speak which was so absurd and meaningless. There was another one who was a spinster who dedicated her life to an idol and took an oath not to marry. She was so angry , and decided that my papers of application to release the arrears should be kept aside and should not be taken along with others. For which I gave my consent, I said, “ok if you do not club my papers with yours keep them aside, I will not ask you to work on my papers, as long as you expect the bribe from me” I told the concerned clerk who brought that piece of news that they will keep my papers aside not sending them to the DHE Office.
That morning it was announced by the sister Principal Winifred that there would be a special meeting for the most senior lecturers in a particular room. They were 40 in number. This piece of information was given to me by some one, who was closely following me in my fight of this bribe issue. She was a karalite Psychology lecturer, Suzan. These lecturers were the staff who had 20 years and above service in the college. so we those who fall below that service were not called for this special meeting.
I did not know for what purpose they were called, but in my soul I was not at rest, the spirit of the Lord was pushing me and telling me that I should take this opportunity to address this group of lecturers and tell them the “reason of my hope”– of-why I would not and could not give the bribe. the promise Acts 18:9 was inspiring me to go forward “Do not be afraid any longer, but go on speaking and do not be silent. for I am with you and no man will attack you in order to harm you, for I have many people in this city” This promise and guidance was given to my in my quiet prayer that morning, And I did not know then, but until I come to know that there was a meeting told my Suzan just a few minutes back.
This verse was in front of my eyes, I had a habit of writing the verse whatever He speaks to me on a bit a paper and keep it with me, and look into it again and again till I fulfilled it or He fulfilled it.
So this verse was in my journal, small slip of paper, and I requested the senior most lecturer among them that I need to address them for 5 minutes before they disperse from the room, and sought for permission just when they were going to disperse after the speech by Sr. Winifred.
She went back into the room and told them that ,“Leela wants to talk to us for 5 minutes.” By that time I was at the door, and she asked me to come in. The haughty looks of some of the lecturers was piercing my whole body. But I was in front of them started my talk which was not at all in my mind, but to talk spontaneously then and there” I am not worthy to stand before you like this, I am here not to tell you that I am only the righteous and you are not. This act of giving bribe I just cannot do, because Jesus cleansed my sins with His blood, my dad took the bribes as police officer, but he has returned those bribes and set right his consciousness, my husband also took bribes before he was touched by Jesus, he took returned the bribe and set right his consciousness, I want to tell you just one thing, I am neither claim sinless, and perfect, I am only seeking to live according the word of God. I am the most sinful person ever lived, but Jesus cleansed me and forgave me. This act of giving of bribe , I just cannot do, I cannot do this knowing this is against the word of God. Please forgive me to behave like this and hurting you all, please try to understand me. I know You cannot take my papers along with your papers to get the arrears, even if I do not get arrears, does not matter, I am not go against my conscious. You can keep my papers of application to release the arrears aside and you can work with your own papers. “ I ended this pep talk with tears in my eyes. I could not control some how, but I rushed out of the room before I really broke down before them.
The next day I was called by my principal, and she told me,“Miss, please go to the clerk so and so , she will give some files to be taken to Tanuku (180km from the place we are) and to the concerned officer in RJD and submit . The clerk will let you know the rest of the details with regard to this work” There was a sort of twinkle in her eyes, she is the most beloved principal we ever had had. I told her that I oblige her. So immediately I went to the concerned clerk and told her what principal told me, she immediately gave me some files and told me that those are the applications of the staff members whose arrears were not yet released, and the RJD is asking some clarifications, therefore she corrected those queries, and now I need to go and give those files to that particular clerk, personally.
I did not say a word to her, I took those files and came home and told my husband, about the work we need to do. He immediately realized that I was hooked here, to go and see the concerned people who demand the bribe. He said, let us fast and pray to day Leela. I obliged him, that was Friday , he and me fasted that night and prayed about our visit to Tanuku. What exactly we prayed I do not remember but I was a little evasive about this task, what was their intention of sending me to the RJD office, was vague and ambiguous. But I just wanted to do this work only with the help of God.
The next day we both took a bus and went to the RJD office. The clerk in our college told me a few weeks ago that the concerned clerk was very hard man and a strong briber, and would not do any work unless we give money. So we understood that now we were going to meet the same person.
We went there by 10 am and waited for the clerk till 11 30 am then he arrived, he asked us to come in, and asked for the purpose of our visit. We told him that the college principal gave us some files to handover to him. He took those files spread them on the table, , taking and opening each file he had a commentary on each file. and said like this; ” See this is Miss. R’s file, ( the one who challenged me about principles) I told the concerned clerk to clarify this query, why she would not do the work properly, sorry mam this Miss R will not get arrears, and Miss L ( another colleague) also some items here , I underline here, ask the clerk to get it clarified, Miss M, her papers are clarified,, Miss Leelavathi, her papers are all right, Miss Leela kumari, these also are clarified… I checked all those papers thoroughly now tell your clerk to do the work in proper way.
And he had given those files back to me. The checking of the files took only half an hour; I was staring at him and some how pulled my courage to ask him, I spoke, ” If our work here is over, can we take leave , Sir? “ Yes mam you can go”
You cannot imagine our situation there, we just got to our feet and briskly, walked out of the room and started to walk to the gate crossing the big campus… I was so sensitive, wondering I may here any voice at our back, calling us again for some more clarifications!!But , oh no, no calls, we reached the gate at last and almost jumped out of the gate, we did not talk to each other, till we reached the bus stand. When we reached there I sighed, and said, “Emandi, shall we have a cup of tea here in this shed ? “ Usually he never prefer for a tea outside , but he said ok” and we were about to go into a small kachda hotel, then we saw the bus to Eluru was just arrived there, without another word we just got into the bus. and kept quiet till the bus started. How we reached Eluru and what we talked I do not remember , but it was like a dream. ” When the LORD restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dream” Psalm 120:1
Next day I straight away went to the Principal chamber and told her that we went and brought the files back. The first question she asked was, ” Didn’t he ask you anything?” i was bit puzzled, I said, ‘No , Sister , Nothing he asked?” i was so docile not understanding what she was asking for. I did not realize that it was coup set to trap me to give bribe by meeting the person; to make me realize how difficult it it is to deal with the person.
She again asked me, “ Nothing, ah, Nothing he asked you?”—–” No sister nothing he asked, he checked the files and he wrote his queries on the files, and asked me to give those to clerk V. “. She was all in smiles, big sweet grin, happy she was, which I did not understand the reason of it then, at that time.. She said,” ok ok go go and hand over those files to clerk V .“.
I went to clerk V and told her,“sister principal asked me to give these to you, the Tanuku clerk wrote everything on those files, and you can call him for further information.” I kept the files on her table. She and her co clerks were staring at me, I did not understand why they were looking like that, but I said, V, I have class now, so I will go” and left the office
Later I got my arrears, Miss L also got her arrears, Miss M got , Miss L ( spinster)needed to get clarified some more queries, to get, Miss R ( principle of dowry) could not get her arrears, and she did not get her arrears then. She got only after two years.
Who is ruler of the world? Who reigns the lives of the people? Who is our Father in heaven who will not bring us to shame? When we honour Him , He will honour us…….The LORD declares”….Those who honor me,I will honor: but those who despise me; will be destined” I Samuel 2:30
God is our Father, who is in Heaven, Such God we are serving and praying , how can He leave us in the wilderness. No never.