I have been thinking and thinking to do many things, in the new attained freedom of my life. Till 2010 I was a working lady , dutifully doing many a chores at working place and at home and in the ministry, God has given. later I was retired and I thought to do many things which I like, but alas , I was bed ridden with high fever, body ache and sever nervous break down, with Chickenguenea , in this stage also I managed to renovate the ground floor given by my father in Vizag in the circumstances of many hurdles of Tobia and Sunbulett.. But The Lord has been with me and strengthened me to finish the work at last. Though I was cheated by many people, and workers there, it was a condition where a lonely widow had to undergo inevitably.
I also could manage the marriage of my son, John and Anne, in spite of my terrible physical condition. There was none to share my burden, none to take up responsibilities, none to understand me. I was literally lonely, except one or two friends who were attending me to their level best, in God given strength and capabilities. For that I owe to them forever. in the name of the Lord I bless them.
But the dearth of a shoulder to lean upon was there, all ways. I need to depend on God for even minute things of the daily life.
Now when I think back and reflect upon all that I had undergone, I see the hand of God on me.
I was so enthusiastic about my retirement, I even publicly announced that I am quiet happy about it. This made some of my authorities and colleagues to misunderstand me, thinking that I was insulting them. Because the others who were retired before me were so sad to leave the job, and there were still some of them doing odd jobs by going everyday to the work place.
In fact I was just waiting for the days to come where in which I could do all the things I wanted to do in my life, which hitherto, could not do, due to the job commitments.
But The Lord has special training classes for me. He made me to sit aright, in one corner, I did not get some horrible disease which may pronounce the death sentence, or some disease which I need to go for umpteen doctors for consultation or some disease, where I need to depend on much medicine, or tests. This chikungunya is a disease which made me to stick to the corner of my life.As there was no tests or medicines available, I just sit and wait for the healing of the Lord. I was able to move after 3 months but it was so painful. In the same condition I could carry on all my duties , by raising up to the occasion.
God taught me that I cannot fly to an utopia in the newly given freedom, but I need to sit and stand still, to one place of my life, and painfully think of the future, to be planned. I was not able to get up from my bed, i used to take at least ten minutes to get up from the bed. i could of squeeze the tooth paste from the tube, and it took 5 minutes to do so. cannot stretch my arm to switch off or on the lights.During those three months the I used bed pan for my natural calls, even the skin on my skull was swollen , I could not think properly… or decide properly.
In this condition I went to Virginia, to see my daughter’s family where I expected the touch of the two little sweethearts No.1 and No 2 would heal my bruised heart and crushed body.
I went there in the month of June, and as I was praying in the basement in the month of July, I poured my anquishness of sorrow at the feet of the Lord.
(Shealtiel was the promise given to me …in the year 2003. ‘ He told me that , it means ” I ASKED GOD’ and He also told me as soon as I asked of HIM , or enquired of Him any thing of my soul, He promised me that He would answer me then and there. ” Here I remember , ” Before I ask , He promised me He would answer me” This has been my experience with Him many a times since He has given that promise in 2003, and even before that since 1975……..)
I prayed ,” Lord How many more days or months should I undergo this pain, how many more days I have to suffer like this. My daughter arranged a room in the basement for me, I could not climb even those few steps to the kitchen, I was spending most of the time in the basement. The life was more silent and more lonely than before as I could not manage anything or help them any way. So in those lonely hours, the Bible and His presence was the only comfort to me.
Expectations, are good for some extent, where we can make some effort to achieve them.. but in the circumstances where you are completely dependent, expecting love and affections, and time to spend for you would only bring more misery in life.
At this juncture, Expectations bring only sorrow and disappointment in life.
Life in USA is not the same in India, it is more difficult and busier than here. People live one day at a time, and even that is full of work and energy. The youngsters can go through of it as their young hot blood could meet the needs of the day. But some of us who were born and brought up in different culture need to make a lot of adjustments… which the body could resist and mind blocks without our knowledge.
God told me very clearly..that I would be healed after 390 days, and after that I need to be still sick for 40 more days then God will restore my health..I was counting the days as this..”I am very sure that I had fever on September 6th 2010 , I went to buy some Bibles at a book exhibition, and while climbing down the stairs I found my self giddy and feverish. I rushed home soon after the lunch with John Ratnam aunty, excusing myself that I could not stay back even for a minute any longer. I came home and slept till evening even without changing the dress, I had high temperature of 104.degrees. F.h.I was retired on 31 August 2010, but I found giddiness and heaviness and swelling of the body from 3rd of Sept,2010, I remember that very well, because I went to attend a College function prior to Teachers day i.e 5th Sept the function was held that is on 3rd Sept, because 5th Sept was on Sunday and the preponed the function to 3rd Sept that is Friday evening.
Sr. Ursula found that I was a little bit sick in spite of my jubilant disposition. she commented on my body that I became very fatty, within three days of retirement, and asked me whet I was dong since i stopped to come to college. I said , oh nothing very much just taking rest. for that she cautioned me to take care of my health I did not suspect any illness at that juncture but she identified it.
So I counted my days from that day that is 3rd Sept 2010 till Sept 27th of 2011. the total days summed up exactly 390 days. to be specific. Then I started to add 40 days to tht count.. That is from Sept 28th to Nov 6th 2011 , precisely 40 days, count. …. So God told me by Nov 6th I would be all right health wise. I was counting the days and praising God .. and thought even if miss some days or so I know Lord by Nov 10th I will be hale and healthy by Thine grace. Amen. Just at that moment James came down to the basement on his errand, then I told him even before he stepped down the staircase. James asked me How are you aunty? I said James, I will be healed completely by Nov 10th , my son. God told me so. then he exclaimed and said , ” Oh aunty you will leave on 21st Nov, till then you will be not all right? He disappointingly queried me.. But I was rejoicing in the heart for the answer I got from the Lord and I could proclaim it by faith to the first person I met there in that lonely basement.
The story did not end there. We went to the CBC Chantilley Bible Church on 25th September..I know in my heart I would finish my 390 days count byy 28th of this month… and that date is imprinted in my heart … and I am looking forward for it to count another 40 days in my life. That day in the church one Br.Brenard was inited to address the audience on some important issue. He told us the gravity of the sin in America , and esp about the Abortions and murdering of the infants in the womb of the mother. He spoke about the creation of God and His love for mankind, and encouraged us to participate in 40 days fasting prayer from 28th September to Nov 6th ,2011. and encouraged us to join in ralleys and counselling sessions, and fasting prayer for these 40 days . I could not believe my ears. why 40 days from 28th Sept why not from 26th the next day, that is Monday.. why they chose 28th wed??? there is no answer for that… my whole being is awfully numb.. I feel the presence of God all over me.. it is the case with me when He exalts Himself by answering me so abruptly and so specifically touching my soul softly.
So what I told to James in the basement was exactly happening here. Why God broke the days as 390 +40 days.. why He did not total led them and told me 430 days in total? Now I got the answer, He wanted me join the prayer session of the church.. So I went and met Br. Bernard and signed in the paper that I would join in fasting prayer for the unborn babies. and against Abortion.
The Lord is good, and speaks beautifully to them who wait upon the Him
You know He keeps His word , and He healed me by Nov 6th.2011. I was jumping literally on Nov 10th as I predicted and proclaimed to James.
Isn’t this prophesy of Him.. even in the small details of life of worm like person , such as me?