Decisions in life are all that matter. To follow or not to follow, to love or not to love, to do or not to do anything, anywhere, need to be decided. God has given such power to mankind. To think, to brood over, to plan, to evaluate and ultimately to decide. One simple decision, some times, changes the whole course of life. One simple, strong decision would take us closer to God or run away from God. Simple decision or simple faith, for that matter, that changes whole set up of life gives abundance of peace, security and courage in life. But the joy or happiness is completely depending upon the aptitude of a person.
Such a decision of choosing God is so very important in life. This decision would come to some people all in a sudden or in a minute as in the case of st.Paul, or Sadhu Sundhar Singh who hated Jesus Christ in their lives before they had an encounter with Him alone. They got a revelation from the above in one second and their entire life pattern was changed taking a 180-degree turn. Some people change their lives with such decisions in that manner. But some people take decision on one fine God given day, but prior to that many trivial incidents in their lives would mould them to the extent of a day wherein they cannot but take up a decision and take 18- degrees turn . whatever be life’s situations, God has a purpose and plan for such people who decide to follow Him.
Does God chose certain people ages before their creation, and their birth on this earth/ Is their lives are PREDESTINED by Him and they are chosen by Him for a life He intends for them? Does the same pattern of His choosing of Jacob and His despising of Easau prevail over the lives of the mankind all these ages through?
Whatever , I see God has a special love and pattern of life for me since my very childhood. When I was just 4years old, I remember, I learned the stories of Christ, I remember His comely visage, His portrait on the wall of our home. This used to give me immense joy and soothing comfort. I remember that I was aware of His presence when I look at Him and feel that He was observing me and listening to me when I tell Him anything. The little prayers at the time of eating food or going to bed were precious moments, which I cherished all through my life. These little good habits and seeds of love for God . Jesus Christ were planted by my aunt Vipparthi Kantham who came to our home to finish her teacher training in Guntur, India. Her stay at our home planted faith in my heart for God. She used to take every occasion to teach me the bedtime prayer and thanks giving prayer at the meals and the power of the name of Jesus Christ to get rid of the fear of the Devil. The beautiful thing she taught me was to go into the presence of God when I am hurt or feel humiliated and getting solace and comfort from Him, and Him alone.
I still remember that particular day, some body was saying “hey look at Leela she is just like her father, oh, such a resemblance, oh God even that big nose she inherited exactly from her father” and every body giggled at once. But I was overwhelmed with shame , oh am I too sensitive person? Could not I take that in a sportive way and poophed poophed the matter to the wind? But I am not born that way, I am really very sensitive person, and take everything to my heart, and who knows that may be the reason that I have many encounters with my Lord which are inevitable for me for I need to be consoled and I found His feet are the right place to get that.
So here I was , I was all in tears, I did not show my tears to any one in that room, nor I cried aloud nor reacted to them in any way. Though I was only 4 years old (((((( 4 year old photograph to be kept here in this place)))))that was the first time that I ever took my “hurt feeling” to myLord , Jesus Christ Himself. I went straight into the bedroom of my dad, nobody noticed my absence from them, and entering into the bedroom first thing I did was bolting the room from inside. and jumped into the bed of my dad to cry into his pillow. usually dad was my solace in such situations, but dad also was in the other room and that particular comment about the nose he took sportive way and laughed aloud. So I haven one to share my hurt. so here I am in his bed with a pillow to wipe my tears on my cheeks. But at that juncture some beautiful thing happened in my life. I looked straight into the eyes of Jesus Christ as His portrait was hanging above the sofa in that room. So I told Him how much hurt I felt by their comments about my BIG nose and I looked at His nose and said to Him “oh Jesus you have such a nice nose, but why you gave me this big one? Everybody is teasing me “ I bitterly cried silently, While the tears were flowing down on my cheeks, my voice was unheard to any earthly being, while the tear marks were still on my cheeks , sleepover came my tired eyelids, and I slept thus giving rest to my agonized soul to rest.
Then I had a dream: In my dream Jesus came and sat on that sofa and I was asking Him why He did not give a nose like His / He was smiling at me as I was kneeling down at His feet and looking into His comely visage. His very presence filled my soul with soothing comfort, He did not answer me but simply took my hand into His, and smiled at me.
Just then there was some one at the bolted door and banging it ,calling my name anxiously, so I had to get up from my sweet dream and from the bed to open the door.
The dream was so vivid and I never could forget the warmth and comfort I enjoyed at His feet at that moment. He was lovely and so wonderful and He wiped away my tears in such soothing way. After coming out of that room I completely forgot my hurt, and I became as happy girl as I was jumping and playing altogether. But that dream was so precious to me that I did not feel like telling any one till now, till I put this into written form now.
Such is the unspeakable and indescribable joy we get when we take our hurts to His feet and comforted there. Its so Holy and beautiful that we do not find proper words to express to any one . Even now, my effort to explain or describe that event is only futile effort. I am just trying to give a glimpse of the Heavenly joy I had had in such occasions.
Through this incident rather my first encounter with my beloved m Jesus Christ has had a great impact in my life.
This has helped me to take up greater decisions in my life when the temptations overwhelm me. One simple prayer of trust in His precious blood and in His Holy name would completely deliver me from the snares of the Evil One. One step towards Him would give us great deliverance, but the Devil never allow us to take such step. Instead it would lure us to trust in our own might, strength and talents to get deliverance. But the child of God would always realize, at one point, that her/his strength to win is futile and she/he needs to DECIDE in her/his heart and YIELD to him completely to get victory in life.
Decision making after right TUNING OF THE HEART is inevitable to the child of God. Till s/he reached to that point s/he never would find peace in life. Howeverr whatever are the lures of the world or snares of evil one. One has to come to the/ point in life, to DECIDE; to YEILD, to SURRENDER completely to HIM, AND HIM ALONE.