My heart is longing for Thine presence, just as the deer thirst for the waters at the brook, my heart longs for your presence oh Lord. Being a retiree, cozily settled in a nook of the corner of 250 Sq yards site/house what on earth I am busy about all the day and night?
There is secret thought in the heart of the hearts, telling me the time is up, there are so many things to finish, get up,,
“The woods are lovely,dark and deep;
But I have promises to keep;
And miles to go before I sleep”–(Robert Frost)
—— echoes in my mind day and night, So many things yet to finish, so many deeds to complete, who will understand my predicament.
Why I should bother about these things, no one press me, stress me, or oppress me to finish or to go further.
But the soul refuses to take rest. What for ? why to run? For whom I should go? The world has its own busy schedule, No one has time to spare time for others, unless it is connected with paper money. ” It look like there’s no time for anything except as a machine.”
How I wish to go far and far where there’s nothing but beautiful red yellow green leaves on the trees and under the tees on those sandy paths,, flowers and buds of every colour blossoming around, sweet waters flowing beside, and the rays of morning sun could touch the frills of my long Pallu, while the breeze once again tickles my hair and blooms on my face?
This is a dream impossible for an woman of my situation, ’cause I need some one to take me there carefully guiding me , need someone to drop me there all by myself ,feed me, take care of my daily inevitable cravings of appetite, guard me not to slip over in any unaware moment, . Some one who never intrude into my thoughts, my words, my deeds, my habits, my mannerisms, my desire for human laughter, a place of my sweet dreams, where I will be alone, but not very alone.
Where I can commune with my Saviour face to face when and how could be chosen by me. Worshiping Him prostrating at His feet, undisturbed, and in peculiar position of half awake, half dead and also to worship Him along with my bosom friends who are of my accord , sharing my zeal as of those old family rhetoric, nostalgic old sweet memories, memories of the past.
Am I look confused? Am I? oh nay, I am not confused but I am blended with old and new, ancient and modern, transcendentalist, ,.looking beyond, up into the horizons of the other side, still very much stick to the layers of the dust of the earth, I am mixed with many desires as my heart is large enough to contain all that I see and hear and grasp ancient as well as updated.
Life is going on and on, as the ripples of the whirlpool in the deep waters of the great big ocean. The white surf roaring out and spreading on the white hot sand of the mid noon day, yet the sprinkles of salty water shining on my ruffled hair on my head, where I was shivering in cold , hugging myself, as the feet dug deeply into the wet sand on the Great Ocean Road.
Life has a meaning and its written here in unknown language making big noise all over. The white long blankets of sand dunes are inviting one and all to come and stretch their aching backs while the sand caressing their backs with little prickly little stones.
But still Life as mysterious as it is laughing loudly telling the end is very near, and the life is but short however we involve in it , love it, and grace it. People of different kinds, meet and depart, think its eternal and knew its short, and unfamiliar. knows its temporary quick turnings, Job said its like the weaver’s loom quickly passing away, without meaning and also with great confusion.
What a big hue and cry over the spilled milk, What earning for fame and name, What attachment for the possessions of filthy nature, what toil over to hoard the values in a safe place, forgetting the life values, not sharing with the poor and needy…at times.
Still it look like a great big black hole engulfing everything that comes around, easy to forget all good things happen but difficult to forget the things we do not like. Let life a memorial fulfilling small desires of loneliness in beautiful natural surroundings now and then to refresh and relax, and to commune with God and with one self. To dig the reminiscences of sweet past to brush the present with lovely colours of those memories to look forward for the unknown future, to meet it, to combat with it, to have victory over it.